Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Reading List: "The Big Sleep"



I grew up reading hard-boiled detective novels, especially John D. McDonald’s so-so Travis McGee series and Robert Parker’s actually-pretty-decent Spenser novels. But I had never gone back to the author generally considered the granddaddy of the hard-boiled genre, Raymond Chandler, and his detective character Philip Marlowe. (Those of you who are shouting “Dashell Hammett”: remember, most folks have two grandfathers. I believe Hammett made The Reading List too, so he’ll get equal time eventually.)

This genre-defining stature has helped Chandler acquire a patina of Real Literary Merit. This is a detective novel that they might make you read in school. Knowing this, I was initially really bothered by its prose style. It struck me as employing way too many simple declarative descriptive sentences, often to describe rooms and wardrobes in unnecessary detail. As I got used to the style, however, I realized that Chandler was doing a pretty good job of mimicking what I imagine as a good private detective’s thought process, a constant lookout for telling details in the world around him. Whether this was the result of careful craftsmanship, or whether Chandler’s genre just happened to line up nicely with his naturally simple writing style, I’ll leave to his biographers.

Book and Movie

The novel version of The Big Sleep is of course the basis of the very fabulous movie version of The Big Sleep (reviewed here). One of the best things about that film is the snappy dialogue, and it turns out that much of the dialog is lifted whole cloth from the novel. It is just as good in the book as it is in the movie, and of course there is a whole lot more of it. Top-notch wisecracking abounds.

The film version of The Big Sleep offers a fairly straight-forward love story against the backdrop of a completely indecipherable detective story. This is, it turns out, because the movie script adheres faithfully, even doggedly, to the plot of the novel, but leaves out any content that couldn’t go into a mass-market movie in the 1940s. And, since the plot revolves around a pornography racket and involves characters who are gay, indiscriminately promiscuous, and/or frequently showing up in their birthday suits, the plot is in tatters after you do the requisite bowdlerization.

To make the movie version coherent, the script was written to play up the relationship between Marlowe, the detective, and his client’s daughter. You know – the famous Bogart-Bacall pairing, really one of the highest-octane instances of barely-suppressed sexuality in the history of film. Fans of the movie will be surprised, then, to find that in the book, that relationship is a dead letter. Marlowe isn’t a bit interested in “Mrs. Regan.” The only woman that the book-version Marlowe takes anything of a shine to is someone he meets only once and knows he will never meet again. Chandler is a shrewd enough observer of human nature that this is surely not by chance; Marlowe’s personality is such that he is going to be much more comfortable with a relationship in which there is no risk of reciprocation.

The most unpleasant thing about The Big Sleep -- worse even than Chandler’s use of the word “modernistic” instead of “modern” -- is a homophobia with a nasty mean streak to it. There are occasional bursts of uncomfortable misogyny as well, but these are not too hard to recognize as merely typical of the era when Chandler was writing. His gay-bashing goes beyond period norms and pops up here and there with no provocation. Of a room’s decor, at one point, we are told out of the blue that “all this in the daytime had a stealthy nastiness, like a fag party.” There’s no particular reason to suppose that Chandler thought it deepened the character of Marlowe to give him issues around homosexuality, so it would appear that it was Chandler himself who had the issues.

Plot: Well, it’s pretty complicated and there’s no reason to walk you all the way through the case. The gist is something like this: the tough guy private eye Marlowe is hired to defuse a blackmail case. Soon he has tracked his client’s daughter into a pornography ring, and before long the plot is littered with corpses. Driven by a sense of professional honor, Marlowe keeps digging even after the blackmailer has been neutralized. He winds up in a jam, but escapes by his wits. At the end of the story, everyone is a little older but not necessarily wiser.

There’s a bit of the Myth of Sisyphus in the hardboiled hero; he strives eternally, yet does not expect or really hope to make the world better by his efforts. At best, he is fending off the forces of chaos for another day. This downbeat sensibility saturates The Big Sleep. What did it matter where you lay once you were dead? asks Chandler at the end of the novel. In a dirty sump or in a marble tower on top of a high hill? You were dead, you were sleeping the big sleep, you were not bothered by things like that.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Thursday Quiz LXIII

The Thursday Quiz!

This season, the Thursday Quiz is a sequence game. Arrange the ten items in the proper sequence!

Remember always the Fundamental Rules of the Thursday Quiz:

1. The Thursday Quiz is a POP quiz. No research, Googling, Wikiing, or use of reference books. Violators will lose their internet privileges. All of them. Permanently.
2. As long as you made it this far, you might as well play. It's not all about winning, you know. It's about using your knowledge and reason and making an educated guess. C'mon! It'll be fun!
Dorky Numbers

Here are ten numbers of various kinds. List them from smallest to largest.

A: 00001101

B: The Atomic Number of Oxygen

C: Avogadro’s Number

D: The Cube Root of Eighty-one

E: Distance from the Earth to the Moon, in kilometers

F: e

G: IX

H: pi

I: The Square Root of Two

J: The U.S. National Debt, in Dollars


Post your answers in the comments.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Ten More Reckless Claims

1. My family enjoys a modest stream of royalties from my great-grandfather's patent on the mechanism used in "Pez" dispensers.

2. I was kicked off of the University of Kansas debate team for being "too religious."

3. I turned down a voice acting job in the late 1980s because it was for a minor character and because I didn't think that a cartoon series for adults could be a viable project. The character was named "Ned Flanders."

4. I was the youngest person ever to be president of a Masonic Lodge in Oregon -- a post I held when I was still a junior in high school.

5. In college, I convinced a Tijuana surgeon to give me "Frankenstein bolts." I was already under anesthetic when a relatively more sober roommate showed up to put a halt to the procedings.

6. I met Andy Warhol at a really chic party.

7. The only time I've ever been in New York City, I drove through it without stopping. I started in New Jersey, drove the length of Manhattan, and didn't get out of the car until I was way past Yonkers. Just so I could say I did.

8. I had eleven toes at birth. A college girlfriend found this "creepy" and talked me into having the "extra" one removed, a decision I've regretted ever since.

9. My family's name was changed from Funftausend at Ellis Island, which is why I call myself "michael5000" online.

10. I write most of this stuff myself, but when I'm pressed for time I pay a term-paper service to write posts "in my style." Including this one!


The first ten reckless claims were made here.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Monday Quiz LIII

Great Composers

Only 15 days until Beethoven's Birthday!

1. This German composer:


…was the subject of this 1986 hit movie:



2. This Russian composer:


…wrote this famous ballet:



3. This German composer:


…is the reason we think of opera as looking like this:



4. This American composer:


…wrote this famous ballet:



5. This man:


is the most famous composer to have come from this country:



Submit your answers in the comments.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Thanksgiving Weekend Trifecta

Part I: Request For Bids

Description of Work:

I: A Masthead for this blog, The Life & Times of michael5000, created to the following specifications:
1) The Masthead must clearly show the blog's name.
2) The Masthead may, if desired, incorporate the mediaeval illustration "The Chariot of Venus," which can be found at:
commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:The_Chariot_of_Venus_p00039.jpg.
3) The Masthead may, if desired, incorporate one or more interobangs.
4) The Masthead should be approximately 900 pixels wide. It may be of any height. It should be in a standard .jpg format.
5) The Masthead should convey such L&TM5K blog values as whimsy, an appreciation of art and/or history, cheerfulness, eclecticism, and dorkyness.
II: A Favicon coordinated to the Masthead, exactly 16 x 16 pixels in size.

III (optional): A "Christmas Masthead" identical to the above Masthead, but ringed with Christmas lights and/or otherwise modified with whimsical holiday decor.


Bidding

A Bid for this project shall consist of two parts.

I) Content. In this section of the bid, the bidder should either
1) indicate a general plan or "vision" of their intended masthead, or:
2) mock up a rough draft or, what the heck, a final draft of the masthead, or:
3) make a vague promise to work on the masthead at some point in the future.
II) Compensation/Budget. In this section, the bidder should indicate how he or she expects to be compensated for his or her efforts. Bids may include, but are not limited to, any of the following forms of compensation:

1) lavish thanks
2) extremely flattering posts profiling the bidder
3) cookies
4) lap blankets made from 100% recycled materials
5) honorary titles
6) indulgences
7) assurances of future comments on the bidder's blog
8) labor
9) extremely modest amounts of money
Bids may be sent to M5KDecathlon[at]gmail.com. All submitted materials become the property of me, michael5000. Bring it, suckas.

----

Part II: Supplemental Reader-Request Quiz

By actual reader request, more or less, it's another non-canonical L&TM5K Quiz!
Countries of Africa: Identify 'em!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

----

Part III: Michael Still Reads the Bible

Over at MRtB, I've closed up shop for the annual Winter Sabbatical after finishing up the books of Chronicles. I'll start it back up again sometime in January, with Ezra.

In two and a half years, I've finished 14 of the Bible's 66 books. That puts me only a woeful 21.2% of the way in. In chapters, though, I've finished 403 of 1189, which is a little more than a third of the way through (33.9%). My favorite measure is verses; having completed a whopping 12017 verses, I'm 38.6% of the way through the 31102-verse Bible. At this year's pace, I will wrap up in Summer 2011.

Those of you who have always wanted to go on a Bible-reading lag -- and who among us hasn't? -- I hardly need say that the next two months would be a perfect time for you to jump in and catch up with me. It shouldn't be too hard if you don't make my mistake and try to write down your thoughts about what you're reading. Just make it to Chronicles, and then from there we can read the read together, nice and slow! K? K.
Happy Thanksgiving Weekend.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Thursday Quiz LXII

The Thursday Quiz!

This season, the Thursday Quiz is a sequence game. Arrange the ten items in the proper sequence!

------------
Happy Thanksgiving! This week's Thursday Quiz will be live through at least mid-day Saturday!
------------

Remember always the Fundamental Rules of the Thursday Quiz:
1. The Thursday Quiz is a POP quiz. No research, Googling, Wikiing, or use of reference books. Violators will lose their internet privileges. All of them. Permanently.
2. As long as you made it this far, you might as well play. It's not all about winning, you know. It's about using your knowledge and reason and making an educated guess. C'mon! It'll be fun!
Movies

Here are ten well-known movies from the second half of the 20th Century. Put them in chronological order.


A: Back to the Future

B: The Big Lebowski

C: Bonnie and Clyde

D: Dr. Strangelove

E: Gandhi

F: The Godfather

G: Schindler's List

H: Star Wars

I: Sunset Boulevard

J: Twelve Angry Men
Post your answers in the comments.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Married Life With the 5000s


Mrs.5000 is reading a book about polar exploration. She remarks about how much cooperation and teamwork is required for humans to survive in that extreme environment.


michael5000: You could almost say "There is no 'I' in 'Arctic'."

Mrs.5000: rolls eyes

michael5000: Except there is, of course.

Mrs.5000: Yeah.

michael5000: thinks a bit....

You know, there's no "I" in "Belgium"...

Mrs.5000: Yes there is!

michael5000: Oh, damn, you're right!

...thinks some more...

You know, there's no "I" in "Mexico"...

Mrs.5000 (incredulous): Yes there is!

michael5000: Oh my god, you're right! There is! What's wrong with me?!

...thinks some more...

You know, there's no "I" in "Canada"...

Mrs.5000: speechless