The Monday Quiz LXI

The Monday Quiz goes to the Movies -- in the year 2000!

Here we have movie posters for various films from the legendary Y2K, lightly modified by having the names of the movies removed. Identify the movies.

1. What were these two films?

2. How about these two?


3. This one?

4. This one?

5. How about this one?

6. This one is a tiebreaker if more than eight people get E.P.s; otherwise, it's maybe extra credit or something. Anyway, it's one of my favorite films ever.

Submit your answers in the comments.

Weekend Flashback: How to Be an Aging Indie Rocker

[This item originally appeared back in September 2007. MyDogIsChelsea called it the "funniest M5000 post to date" at the time. It prompted Oklahoma megablogger Blythe to state that this blog was "underrated," although in her defense that was before the Great Movies project got underway. Here it is in its original glory.

But first, housekeeping items. Remember the great Diet Cola Reduction project? I should follow up here by telling you that is has been more than six weeks since ANY diet cola crossed my lips. I didn't really intend to go cold turkey, it just kind of happened. It has already saved me more than $100, on top of any health benefits that might be involved. And, yeah, I haven't been posting the Wednesday Weigh-Ins, but I'm generally almost exactly on target in my two-year weight loss plan. So that's good.]


Why Be an Aging Indie Rocker?

Listen. You can be an indie rocker or not be an indie rocker. That's your deal. Take it, or leave it. But, if you are going to be an indie rocker, you are going to age. "Look out, you rock and rollers," said David Bowie, "pretty soon now, you're gonna get older." And the funny thing is, he said that about 30 years ago. And just look at him now!

What You'll Need

An appreciation for independently-produced rock music. This one is important. Unlike the more turbulant seasons of your life, when you could build an entire persona around your affection for, say, the Dead Milkmen, or Live, at your current age no one is going to give a rat's ass what you listen to. You can tell coworkers how you scored tickets to Wolf Parade all you want, and all you are going to get for your trouble is puzzled peers and a reputation as a really serious enviromentalist. You aren't going to be scoring points, so you better enjoy the sounds coming out of the speakers or you are just wasting your time, and lord knows you have less of that remaining every day.

Some money. Your days of catching three dollar shows at some rat-infested walk-in closet of a club are over, chum. Because of your inability to keep up with the scene -- more on which, below -- you don't even know where those clubs are. You certainly don't know the bands that play in them. No, you know the bands that have a high enough profile to surface on the various internet music services you so slavishly monitor. And these bands are just successful enough that you are going to have to surrender a twenty dollar bill or two in order to get in to the show. Plus, you are too old to know how to score free downloads, so you'll have to pay for that too. You might even go to the record store, which is quaint and all, but again -- it costs money.

Internet Access. Which you obviously have, since you are reading a "Blog." Which is short for "Web Log." They were popular about six years ago. I started mine this summer.

The Ability to Stay Up Late. This can be pretty painful. Many independant rock bands do not even start playing until well after most men and women of your advanced years are blissfully in bed. If you are past 35, it will take about a week after the show before you really feel rested again. No one said this would be easy.

Comfortable Shoes. That's right. No chairs. It sucks, but what can you tell these kids?

Some Sort of Ear Protection. Remember, in your younger years, how you knew and yet did not care that if you went to lots of really loud rock concerts you would lose your hearing in the future, when you got old? Well my friend, the future is now.

Challenges

The Warp of Time. As you age, the concept of novelty stretches out with a weird relativistic flexibility. Back when you were secretary of the sophomore class, you realized that a song, a band, or a hep piece of def slang can be considered fresh, new, and relevant for a period of a few weeks or so. By the time you entered your twenties, you began to hang onto your songs and your groovy jive for months and then, with increasing persistance, years at a time.

And by the time you reach middle age, my lad, you have lost track of which decades events fell into. The sudden popularity of Seinfeld, the dot-com boom, the dot-com bust, young men wearing their waistbands around their knees, flags plastered to every available lapel and surface, "Achy Breaky Heart," the expression "talk to the hand," 50 Cent, all of these things crowd together in a murky eternal present. Because they came to your attention after you graduated from college, they feel like something that is happening, more or less, now. They are new, au courant, like something you might mention to a younger person to telegraph how damn hip you really are.

If you are approximately my age, you are all too aware that Nirvana seems, yes, like a band that had some historical importance, but also like a band that had some historical importance recently. You are still proud of how early you caught on to Nirvana, aren't you. You saw how catalytic they were going to be right away, when everyone else was still gaping. Does this make you cool? No, sir, this does not make you cool. It only makes you old. Most people at the show were not old enough to dress themselves when Kurt Cobain made his one-way trip to the greenhouse. Get over it.

Staying in the Know I: Volume. The college-age music fan has vast reserves of time in which she can go to shows, scrutinize obscure recordings, seek out the most ascerbic of critics, and in general educate herself about the minutia of her chosen subgenre. You can not hope to keep up with this. You, my friend, have a real job, and likely a mortgage, a marriage, land and property to keep maintained, and, god willing, a diverse range of friendships, interests, and involvements in the community. She, the college-age music fan, will discover two or three new favorite bands every week. Count yourself on an excellent pace if you can discover four or five every year. No, of course it's not fair, but frankly you don't have much time left to enjoy your new discoveries anyway. Buck up.

Staying in the Know II: Proportion. It is easy, especially with the decentralized distribution that the Internet hath wrought, to follow bands without having any real sense of how popular they are. Here is a "current" (i.e. only 2 1/2 years old) example from my own journey, to illustrate: In a two-week period, I went out to see Jim's Big Ego, Guided by Voices, and the White Stripes. Not having scrutinized the tickets, I figured that Guided by Voices, an established band with a dedicated cult following, would be the biggest show of the three. JBE, being just so stinking awesome, would be the middle show. The White Stripes, kind of a concept band that was only just then coming off of a breakthrough record, should draw a small but enthusiastic crowd. I hardly need tell you how surprised I was by the arena crowd for the 'Stripes, or by the (basically) living room that JBE played in. [For the record, all three shows were scorching great. I didn't feel truly rested again for about a month.]

Hazards

I like this band, she likes this band.... Aging Indie Rockers who hit on young indie rockers are not, sadly, always unsuccessful. They are, however, always pathetic. If you are just that attracted to someone twenty years your junior, perhaps you might inquire if her mother is available.

Obsession is not pretty. Your neighbors and colleagues will meet your fanaticism for a band, sub-genre, or club scene with the same numb tolerance that they would extend to a trekkie, Hummel figurine collector, or avid breeder of ferrets. If you can talk about a range of other things as well, it will help a lot.

The Rock and Roll Lifestyle. At 24, putting away that much alcohol was rakish, daring, rebellious. At your age, it's just sad that you haven't got your little problem under control. Drugs? At 20, they made you kind of crazy and edgy. At your age, they make you a derelict. Trashing the place? Dude, you've got assets. They'll sue your ass. Go home and sleep it off. You'll feel better in a few weeks.

The Rewards?

None, really. Take it or leave it. The rock music available today is incomparably better than the crap that we listened to when we were kids. You won't have to dig very hard to find some really great stuff that you'll enjoy a lot. But on the other hand, so what? It's not like it's important or anything.

Peace.

The michael5000 Kitchen #1: Soda Bread

...and so a new fiasco begins!

It would be an understatement to say that I am not a foodie. My interest in food preparation peaked, as so much does, in the early twenties -- not coincidentally, the time when I had the least money to buy anything fancier than bulk oats, beans, and noodles. Even then, my dabbling in the culinary arts was never what you would call Sophisticated; I made many a hockey puck before I figured out that brewer's yeast was the weak link in my bread recipes.

Once out of graduate school, I let other people -- restuarants and sprawling multinational agribusiness corporations -- take over most of the cooking. My cooking repertoire has long been designed to minimize time of preparation and use as few dishes as possible, and so I have subsisted on a diet of various bean & cheese combinations, eggs, and pasta, supplemented in recent years by whatever Mrs.5000 comes up with when it's her turn.

The Recipe Box

Hardly used over the last 15 years, I have dragged a recipe box with me from home to home. Except for a few signature items, like my famous oatmeal almond chocolate chip cookies, most of the recipe cards in there have been doing nothing but gradually yellowing. It's a silly state of affairs.

Therefore, it's time for a new L&TM5K Project! Over the next however many months or years, I shall gradually try out all of the recipes in my box. Those that are worth making, I'll keep; those that aren't, I'll pitch. I'll share the recipes, and the results, with you here.

Recipe #1: "Brown Soda Bread"


Provenence: Clipped from the Christian Science Monitor, sometime in the early 90s. There was a period of several months when I was making this bread a lot, if memory serves.

The Recipe

3 cups whole-wheat flour
1 cup white flour
1 tablespoon salt [see update]
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 to 2 cups buttermilk

Preheat oven to 350. Combine dry ingrediants in a large bowl, and mix thoroughly. Add enough buttermilk to make a sort dough, firm enough to hold its shape. Knead on a lightly floured surface for about three minutes. Form into a round loaf and place on a buttered cookie sheet. Cut a cross on the top with a sharp knife. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes [see update], or until the loaf is nicely browned and sounds hollow when rapped with a wooden spoon.

The Results: Easy and fun to make. Tasty, but 45 minutes might be too little time in the oven, as the center of my loaf was still doughy. The "1 1/2 - 2 cups" range for the buttermilk seems imprecise; next time around I'll keep it on the 1 1/2 cup end of the range to try to see if that improves the texture. On the salty side.

UPDATE: Per Vida's comment, I have made subsequent loafs (loaves?) with a teaspoon of salt rather than a tablespoon, and find it is a little tastier that way. I have also been leaving it in for the full 50 minutes, too, and that seems to have solved the undercooked middle issue.

And, per Rebel, here's a picture:

Groundhog Thursday

The Thursday Quiz Season Seven Wrap-Up

No contest this season, as DrSchnell romped to his third season title with five Stars, a whopping three of them Gold ones. He also had a Silver and a Blue.

Boo takes her first season honors in second spot with four Stars, two Silvers and two Greens.

Out of the five-way tie for third, Cartophiliac has bragging rights with two Golds and a Silver, followed very closely by Karmasartre with two Golds and a Green.

Also with three Stars are la gringissima, who took two Silvers and a Green; Serendipity, with one apiece of Silver, Blue, and Green; and the Queen of Green, Mrs.5000, who kept three Green Stars right here at Castle5000.

Fans of the Quiz will be delighted to hear that TQ topics have been planned out all the way to TQM. That's three more seasons, people!


Shameless Cross-Posting

Michael Reads the Bible is back from sabbatical. Y'all on that?


This Is, Again, Not a Quiz

In the comments to TQLXX, mhwitt said...

I propose that that next Thursday quiz should feature a list of REM albums that we must order from earliest to latest. I propose you call me exactly sixty minutes before you post it so I can be the first to answer.

Oh, and no Wikiing, etc.

Deal?

Sure, mhwitt. Deal. I called you earlier this evening -- knock yourself out.

Accelerate
Around the Sun
Automatic for the People
Dead Letter Office
Document
Fables of the Reconstruction
Green
Lifes Rich Pageant
Monster
Murmur
New Adventures in Hi-Fi
Out of Time
Reckoning
Reveal
Up

The Seventh Season of the Monday Quiz and the Eighth Season of the Thursday Quiz start next week!

What is Your Least Favorite Bumper Sticker?

Recently a member of the L&TM5K community -- I'll let them choose whether or not they want to jump in here -- wrote about their least favorite bumper sticker. It was this one:

"As a pacifist heritage-language activist anti-nationalist English teacher whose parents taught her to read," our correspondant wrote, "this slogan makes my blood boil."

---

"Personally," I responded, "I don’t get too upset by that one. I read it as saying 'One of my loved ones is in the military and I’ve read very little history.'”

The one that makes the blood boil in my brain is this one:

I read this as an aggressive fuck-you to any single parent. The presumed target of the message, the young woman who picked the wrong guy and got herself knocked up, shouldn’t have to read that shit. Nor should my sister, a single woman who adopted two beautiful, successful children. Nor should my neighbor, whose children only have one parent because the other one was murdered. I mean, what are people THINKING when they put something that hurtful on their car for all the world to see? Morons.

---

Now, perhaps you are agreeing with one of us, or both of us, or maybe you think the both of us are crackers. That's fine and good. What's certain, though, is that you have seen a bumper sticker that pushes your buttons!

So let's hear it, gentle readers! What do you consider the most obnoxious bumper sticker out there, and why?

The Great Movies: "Nashville"

Nashville
Robert Altman, 1975

We looked at another Robert Altman movie, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, back in December. Nashville, a better known film, shares much in common with McCabe and, as far as I know, all of Altman's work . It features an enormous cast of well-drawn characters who interact in a natural, highly realistic fashion. The film is less concerned with telling a conventional story than it is with drawing a portrait of a given time and place. Because the movie is not plot-driven, events seem to follow on each other in simple chronological order, just as in real life. As watchers, we feel almost like another character in the film, not saying much but always hanging out at the fringes of the action.

In general, I like this style of film-making. Yet Nashville itself, unfortunately, didn't do much for me. This is perhaps because it treats a subject, the country music scene of the 1970s, that I could not care less about. I mean, sure, you can say it's really about human universals of love, longing, and loss, and that's more or less true. In a way, Nashville is a composite of a dozen short films on such elemental topics, all squashed together. But, you always come back around to the shabby setting, a big-time music scene that chews up most of its aspirants and rewards a tiny few with lives of lonely celebrity. And then, there's the music itself. Out of a sprawling 160 minute movie, probably around an hour is music video. Much of the music is pretty good, sure, but it's just concert footage of fake concerts, and as such doesn't do much for me.

[update: It has been about two weeks since I wrote this review, and I should admit that over that time the movie has aged well for me. There are some movies that are great fun while you are watching them, and you forget them a few days later. There are others that are not great to watch, but make an impression that stays with you. Nashville seems like it might end up in that second category.]

Plot: Some two dozen people pursue their various goals and interests over several days in Tennessee. At the end, there's a big concert where some crazy stuff goes down.

Visuals: An active camera is generally placed among the characters at about eye level, often wandering through the crowd; this is part of what makes it feel somewhat like you are participating in the action instead of just watching it. Much of this movie takes place in music clubs, and since these all look pretty much the same I was occasionally confused as to whether we had jumped to a new scene in a different club, or if we were continuing the same scene in the same club.

Dialogue: Altman's dialogue just feels like people talking. Unlike in most movies, where characters all take turns talking as if they were in an polite college seminar, Altman's characters often talk simultaneously, or over the top of each other, like real people. Since there is no conventional plot, dialog doesn't bear much of a burden of exposition; instead of just explaining what's going on, conversations are more about establishing the characters and their relationships.

Prognosis: I hardly know what to say. If you want to give Altman a whirl, I'd suggest starting with McCabe & Mrs. Miller or perhaps 1992's highly entertaining The Player (but not -- I suspect I'll get flack for this -- the grossly overrated MASH). If you like any of those, or if you like country music, or if you live in Nashville, jump on in! Just schedule an appropriate chunk of time. This is a long 'un!

Time Out for Groundhog Day!

Happy Groundhog Day!

Longtime readers might remember that I am attached to Groundhog Day, and not just because of the 1993 comedy of that name. Although, I am pretty fond of that movie. I watched it alone in the Odeon Theater in the High Street of Exeter, in Devon. I remember that there were occasional chuckles from the rest of the audience, but that I roared with laughter for much of the film, occasionally pounding the armrest and gasping for breath. It made me wonder at the time if there was something distinctively American in the film's humor, or if I was perhaps starting to lose my mind from a year of loneliness and cultural isolation.

But that's not the thing about Groundhog Day. The thing about Groundhog Day is, it's the halfway point between the winter solstace and the spring equinox. Groundhog Day, even the cartoonish part about whether the groundhog will see its shadow, dates back to medieval times, when people took the passing of the seasons very seriously indeed. Groundhog Day is important because it marks the end of the darkest 1/4 of the year (Southern Hemisphere residents adjust for local conditions). By the admittedly unorthodox michael5000 reckoning of the seasons, it is the first day of spring. So Congratulations! You survived!

Dude, Where's My Quiz?

Last Week's MQLX marked the end of the Sixth Season of the Monday Quiz, and per tradition we're taking a week off to stretch, limber up the quizzing muscles, and of course to observe Groundhog Day. Those of you who can't get enough of the Quiz, you'll be happy to know that topics for not one, not two, but THREE more seasons of the Monday Quiz have been approved by the L&TM5K head office. So don't worry, man. We'll have your fix.

But first, let's take a moment to shout out to the Champions of Season Six: Co-champions, actually, as DrSchnell and la gringissima both took an astonishing seven out of the ten available Exclamation Points. Karmasartre was right behind them with six, and Elizabeth gathered five new EPs to bulk up her trophy case. Chance, Mrs.5000, and gs49 all took four apiece.

Well done to all who competed! And to those who didn't, well, the start of a new season is a fine place to jump in. Just think, eleven months from now, we could be shouting out to YOU!!!

This is Not a Quiz

...but it's something I stumbled on a while back, and I think it's pretty cool. Can you tell what it is?

Memphis, Egypt 3100 BCE
Akkad, Babylonia (Iraq) 2240
Lagash, Babylonia (Iraq) 2075
Ur, Babylonia (Iraq) 2030
Thebes, Egypt 1980
Babylon, Babylonia (Iraq) 1770
Avaris, Egypt 1670
Memphis, Egypt 1557
Thebes, Egypt 1400
Nineveh, Assyria (Iraq) 668
Babylon, Babylonia (Iraq) 612
Alexandria 320
Pataliputra (Patna), India 300
Changan (Xi'an), China 195
Rome 25
Constantinople (Istanbul), Turkey 340 CE
Ctesiphon, Iraq 570
Changan (Xi'an), China 637
Baghdad, Iraq 775
Cordova, Spain 935
Kaifeng, China 1013
Constantinople (Istanbul), Turkey 1127
Merv (Mary), Turkmenistan 1145
Constantinople (Istanbul), Turkey 1153
Fez (Fes), Morocco 1170
Hangzhou, China 1180
Cairo, Egypt 1315
Hangzhou, China 1348
Nanking, China 1358
Beijing, China 1425
Constantinople (Istanbul), Turkey 1650
Beijing, China 1710

Happy Groundhog Day, Y'all!