Monday, July 16, 2007

The Fashion Issue!

All About Fashion

Fashion is really just another way to get you to buy shit you don't need. But if you have an interest in clothes and the money to spare, more power to you! I bet you look great!

Who's Hot!
  • Kind people.
  • People who are interested in things.
  • People who are competent.
  • Bookish people.

Who's Not!

  • Disingenuous people.
  • People who are indiscriminately insulting.
  • People who use the phrase "fashion faux pas."
  • Snide bloggers

Michael5000's Fashion Tips

  • The older you get, the less writing you want on your clothing.
  • You are more attractive when you are comfortable in shabby clothes than when you are uncomfortable in expensive clothes.
  • If you are in food service, many of us do not want to see your undergarments.
  • Men: Women pay attention to your shoes. It's weird, but there you go.
  • Women: If you choose to dress like a hooker, you will attract men who are attracted to hookers.
  • Beware of all enterprises that require new clothing.
  • It's better to leave something to the imagination. Yes, even with your beautiful body. Trust me on this.


Jenny! said...

I hate fashion, I am the least fashionista (whatever that phrase is) of all times. I think clothes is so fucking expensive and not worth it. I would rather spend my money on other things. If I can't get it at Target...then I don't want it!

Jenny! said...

Oh, and I hate woman who complain about men staring at their are hanging out...what do you expect!

fingerstothebone said...

You must've seen something you shouldn't've seen over in them Sisters; and do tell, what was it? Do you have pictures?

Anonymous said...

I hate fashion too!

gl. said...

i'm glad "kind" people are the first kind of hotness. hooray!

Michael5000 said...

@Jenny!: Nothing unfashionable about shopping at Target. As recent editor of this very fashion advice guide, I myself shop at Target. That's how stylish it is.

@Jenny!, part II: A gentleman pretends not to notice.

@fingers: Perceptive as usual. 'Twas in a certain well-established pizza parlor in Gunnison, Colorado. We were served by a handsome, charming, witty, and tolerant young man, who also unfortunately wore his waistband at the far south of his buttocks. This struck me both as about three years behind the times, and as revealing a little more stranger's boxers than I really want while putting away a veggie combo. Thanks for asking.

@MDIC: Goodness, who said anything about hating fashion. It's the fashion issue!!

@gl.: Kind people are the schizzle. Hot hot hot! I think you are going to see everybody being kind in New York this season.

Rebel said...

What's that quote? Fashion is a form of ugliness so hideous that they need to change it every 6 months?

Today's fashion trend is tomorrow's black-mail photos ;)