Friday, February 8, 2008

Weekend Edition

The Sentimental Cat Post

My eccentric cat and constant companion Yoyo, a delightfully gentle and affectionate beast, is twenty-one this February. Strangely, she is still alive, and even relatively healthy. To celebrate the event, I am posting the following:

  • Four (4) pictures I took of my cat, plus this link to, yes, an online gallery of additional pictures I have taken of my cat.

  • This link to a somewhat overwrought song I wrote about my cat.

  • The following sentimental poem that I wrote about my cat last summer.

Apparently, I have given up on trying to earn the world's respect.

For I Will Consider My Cat Yoyo

In answer to a question by Vida. It will make more sense if you have read Jubilate Agno, (the famous "For I Will Consider My Cat Geoffrey") by the brilliant 18th Century poet, churchman, and nut-job Christopher Smart.

For I will consider my cat Yoyo
For Vida hath asked me, "Why is Yoyo so cute?"
For her cuteness is of ten aspects -- as are the laws of God --
For although it is great in effect, is it not finite of cause?

For the first is that of her face, half grey, half tan
(For it is of this that first captured mine own heart)
For the second is that she is abundant in fuzzyness
(For this rewards the petter, who doth reward the cat)

For the third is of her urgency in trifles
For the fouth is of her imperturbability in the alarm
For the fifth is of her purring, very loud
For the sixth is of her expectation of welcome

For the seventh is of her peculiar habits
(For it is amusing to see a cat in the sink
For she will drink not of the still waters)
For the eighth is of her gentle manner
(For she will not place her claws upon bare flesh
For she understandeth that this is cause of pain)

For the ninth is of her assurance of purpose
(For she doubts not the affections of her people)
For the tenth is the completeness of her slumber
(For she fears not to be harmed within her home)

For the wisdom of these ways hath let her become most old
For the being of Yoyo hath kept her in perfect cat.

["For I Will Consider My Cat Yoyo" has appeared previously on the FaceBooks.]

OK, Enough of That

I've been wanting to find y'all some Wipers to celebrate the first weekend of the Year of the Rat. I was especially pleased to find this trippy thing on YouTube:


I was tagged to this by Elizabeth. I'm just a boy who can't say no. Even though it's, like, four thousand questions long.

1. What time did you get up this morning? Between 6:30 and 7:00.
2. Diamonds or Pearls? Cotton.
3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? "The Darjeeling Limited."
4. What is your favorite TV show? I don't watch television.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Trader Joe's granola. Thanks, Trader Joe! 6. What is your middle name? {redacted}.
7. What food(s) do you dislike? Lots of them. I am your basic picky eater. In particular, I very much dislike tomatos. Also, I don't eat red meat.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I don't have to choose, so I won't.
9. What kind of car do you drive? 1994 Toyota Pickup.
10. Favorite sandwich? One on one of these really awesome bagels we've been getting.
11. What characteristics do you despise? Disingenuity. The belief that one is strong and tough enough to do what must be done, when one is simply unimaginitive and
cruel. Dogma posing as professionalism.
12. Favorite item of clothing? Sweatshirts in the indoor season, shorts in the outdoor season.
13. If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go? Ask me right now? India.
14. What color is your bathroom? White.
15. Favorite brand of clothing? Oi.
16. Where would you retire? City of Roses, baby!.
17. Most memorable birthday? I think it was my 37th we were on Hadrian's Wall.
18. Favorite sport to watch? College football, baby!
19. Summer or winter? Summer.
20. Who do you expect to repost this? Ha! I just noticed that Elizabeth wrote "Michael5000 might."
21. Person you most admire? The most recent winner of the Thursday Quiz
22. Favorite saying? Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
23. When is your birthday? If you need to know, you do.
24. Are you a morning person or a night person? Whatever
25. What is your shoe size? 9-1/2 or so.
26. Pet? See above.
27. What did you want to be when you were little? A dairy farmer.
28. What are you doing today? Hanging out.
29. What is your favorite candy? I have no idea.
30. What is your favorite flower? I have a whole garden full of them. It's hard to pick.
31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? The day my ship comes in.
32. What church/temple do you attend? Well, it's been a few years.... Twelve, actually....
33. What are you listening to right now? A raga by Dr. M Rajam.
34. What was the last thing you ate? Caesar salad with mac and cheese.
35. Do you believe in angels? No.
36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Oi.
37. What are your pet peeves? See #11, above.
38. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Mrs.5000.
39. Favorite soft drink? Diet Cola, baby!
40. Favorite restaurant? India Grill.
41. Hair color? Light brown.
42. Siblings? Three.
43. Favorite day of the year? Christmas, duh.
46. Hugs or kisses? I thought you'd never ask.
47. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla.
48. Do you want your friends to repost this? That's their deal.
49. When was the last time you cried? I don't want to talk about it, and you don't want to hear about it.
50. What is under your bed? Shoes, a flashlight, and a stout cudgel.
51. Who is the friend you've had longest? Depends on how you define "friend" and "longest." ChuckDaddy and MyDogIsChelsea are the blogfriends I've had the longest.
52. What did you do last night? Hung out.
53. Favorite smell? The open road.
54. What are you afraid of? Death. Disability. Poverty. Disgrace. Loss of loved ones.
Humiliation. Being forced to do things I don't want to do. Being forced to give
up things I love. That Depression won't ever go away next time. Why do you ask?
Oh, you mean like how I'm afraid of snakes and flying?
55. How many keys on your key ring? Ten or eleven, I guess.
56. How many years at your current job? Seven and change.
57. Favorite day of the week? Saturday, duh.
58. How many towns have you lived in? Seven, I guess.
I'm outta here. Happy weekend!


Karin said...

Happy Birthmonth, Yoyo! You sexy thang. ;)

Laura said...

I'm not sure what's worse... that you answered all of those questions—or that I read all of your answers. In any case, happy 21st birthday, Yoyo! I hope your dad gives you a celebratory beer, now that you're finally legal.

d said...

i like that yoyo has a dog bone tag.

Rebel said...

Happy Birthday Yoyo! You most wize of furry beings.

Anonymous said...

Did you shave?!

Anonymous said...

For some reason I actually wanted to look at the gallery of Yoyo photos, but I have been denied access. What, exactly, are you hiding? Is it because we're not true friends, as Facebook understands friendship?

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday to Yoyo!

from Laylah, the most civilized of all cats

fingerstothebone said...

Yo! Yoyo, Happy Birthday!

You're not the oldest cat I know, you know. We had 2 cats that were much older, mother and son. Them must've had good genes. And so do you, from the sound and looks of it.

G said...

Obv, given my other blog, I adore this post. There should be more cat-ridiculousness in the world. Nice job, and happy birthday to Mme Belov├Ęd Cat.

Anonymous said...

Yoyo doesn't look her age at all. She is a pretty princess.

The song is sweet! And I am a sucker for cat pics. She is gorgeous too. "(For she will not place her claws upon bare flesh
For she understandeth that this is cause of pain)" THAT is one cat worth poetry!

That was a long tag but an easy fun read. Well done. It is difficult to make them interesting sometimes, but you did. It makes me want to come up with a crazy one . . .again.

Anonymous said...

re. Yoyo MA: nice poem.

re. Meme: your answer to question # 2, "cotton", when the possibilities are diamonds or pearls -- is an issue in that the question is of a black-box nature. It presents a finite field of information, and demands one of two conventional choices that are allowable within its framework (pearls, or diamonds), To look for another answer -- to "think outside the box" -- is basically to punt; in other words, it is to write a new question to replace the one you don't like. You can't really think outside a black box; nothing gets in, and nothing gets out. Your response of "cotton" is, in effect, tantamount to answering a different, more comfortable problem. Indeed, you demonstrated a similar propensity with several of your responses.

Michael5000 said...

@d: She's an alternative cat.

@Sandy: It's a pre-beard picture. And, I thought that my photogalleries were public access. Sorry to lead you on if they aren't.

@Laylah: She appreciates the well-wishes. Good kitty.

@karma: Touche.

mhwitt said...

@Yoyo: Happy birthday, Yo-o, you sweet thing. I am giving some thought to telling the readers of Michael5000 the author's middle name. What does the wise kitten who is about to achieve majority say to this?

Anonymous said...

Jenny and Coco say, "Happy Birthday Yoyo!" Coco would like to add that she hopes to follow in your footsteps Yoyo, enjoying decades of adoration and cuddling.

blythe said...

one of my deepest fears is that i will finally come to the conclusion that it's not that i just don't like cats, i detest them, not unlike traffic or when you wait in line for 30 minutes at a football game for a hot dog and they run out right when you get to the front of the line.

Dug said...

Yo! Thanks for the Wipers video. I've had that song stuck in my brain for weeks - ever since someone mentioned that we were entering year of the Rat.
Congrats to YoYo! Our cat didn't even make it to 15 (sniffle).

gl. said...

happy birthday, yoyo! you're lucky to have an owner who writes reverent poems & songs about you. :)

karmasartre's response to your meme made laugh.