Monday, December 7, 2009

The michael5000 Kitchen #15: "Oatmeal Almond Chocolate Chip Cookies"

Provenance: A few weeks ago, I let you in on the secret of the Pumpkin Cookies. And you are welcome. But now, as we enter the Season of Giving, I am going to go one step further. I am going to make the ultimate sacrifice. I am going to give you -- free of charge or commitment -- my signature Oatmeal Almond Chocolate Chip recipe. I do this at considerable sacrifice to myself. My real-world social life, and possibly my marriage, has largely been dependant on my ability to crank a batch of these puppies out from time to time. I'm pretty sure, in particular, that we will see no more of former L&TM5K reader Vida after this post; she will simply no longer need me. I'm honestly not sure where I got this recipe. The original, much-besplattered document is a half-page that looks like it was printed off a Mac in the early nineties or something. I've only been using the recipe for seven or eight years, though. Early on, I made a couple of key alterations to make it more, you know, delicious. And these cookies are nothing if not delicious. Indeed, at this Thanksgiving just past Sister Jen brazenly threw over the Pumpkin Cookies in favor of the O-A-CC as her favorite michael5000 holiday cookie. It was a real watershed moment.

The Recipe: Preheat oven to 375F.

1 1/4 cups Butter 3/4 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup sugar
Cream the Butter and Sugar together. I usually do this in a largish metal kettle, putting the Butter in the preheating oven for a few minutes to get it pliable. Then, stir or beat in:
1 Egg 1 tsp. Vanilla
OK. In another mixing bowl, mix these dry ingrediants nicely together:
1 1/2 cups Flour 1 tsp. Baking Soda 1/2 tsp. Salt 1 tsp. Cinnamon 1/8 tsp. Nutmeg
Frankly, I make it a pretty generous tsp and 1/8 tsp on the spices, because that's just the kind of guy I am. Anyway, at this juncture you can blend your dry mixture into your gooey mixture, and you'll start to have a thinnish cookie dough. Now comes:
3 cups Oats
I usually go with a 50/50 mixture of the old-school rolled oats and the thinner "quick oats" variety. But whatever. If it comes in a cylinder and has a picture of a religious dissident on it, you're on the right track. At this point, it should be getting difficult to stir, so make sure you have a stout wooden spoon at hand. And, there are two more critical ingredients to add!
12 ounces (a standard bag) Chocolate Chips 1 cup Almonds
With the almonds, you can use slivers, slices, or chunks -- the cookie will look different depending on which you choose, but it will taste the same. But, make sure you have ~toasted~ almonds. If you have raw almond slivers, toast them in the oven while it's preheating. It matters. OK! Slap generous dollops of your very chunky mixture onto cookies sheets. (It's going to be sticky, so be prepared to rinse your hands a lot.) Bake for 9 or 10 minutes, and cool 'em on a rack if you've got one.

The Results:

These are some extremely goddam tasty cookies.

The L&TM5K Advent Calendar December 7
From the In-Laws5000 family postcard collection.


Anonymous said...

I'm shocked! Speechless!
Well, thank you, and goodbye.


Rebel said...

I think I gained two pounds just reading this post.

sister jen said...


To be fair, I waffled between these and the pumpkin cookies. But I think these win.

Here's what I want to know: if you've been making them for seven years, why haven't I ever had them before??

God I hope they show up at Christmas.

mrs.5000 said...

Ah, just what the 5000 Family needs at Christmas, another obligatory cookie type added to the roster! If I'm not mistaken, though, we brought them last year. You may not have noticed them amongst the colorful array of representational cookies.

As a keen observer of the baking process, I'm surprised that M5K has left off his key Secret Technique (which predates this specific recipe) of removing the cookies from the oven BEFORE YOU* THINK THEY'RE QUITE DONE.

* "You" being any sane, cautious person who has been brought up to think of baking as representing a clear change of state between dough and not-dough. Forget Levi-Strauss! Cast your fears of salmonella aside! You'll get a nice, soft, just-lightly-browned cookie that thumbs its nose at crispiness.

Rex Parker said...

That is MY "Secret Technique," dammit. Absolutely necessary w/ Nestle Tollhouse cookies.

I will bake these Oatmeal/CC cookies over the holidays (uh, tomorrow, maybe) and report back.


Melissa said...

Mmm...I just bought stuff to make cookies. I think I will give your not-so-secret recipe a try. Except I have walnuts I think. Oh, and coconut must be added.

Michael5000 said...


Jenners said...

You truly are a selfless soul.

mrs.5000 said...

But why couldn't it BECOME oatmeal-walnut-coconut-chocolate chip cookies? That sounds awesome, too.

My apologies for my husband, who, let's just say, has an inexplicable distrust of walnuts. That keeps us safely away from the whole "variation as heresy" issue.

margaret said...

Hell yes. I think I've been waiting years!