Thursday, August 9, 2007

College Football 2007: Pre-Season Analysis

[If you are here to talk modern novels, go here. Then you can come back and read this incisive, hard-hitting analysis of the coming college football season.]

All right, football fans! Here's who I like for 2007!

But first, I should clarify that by "who I like" I don't mean "who I think will be successful." No. I am a Ducks fan. We know better than to predict. We simply accept the team we end up with: occasionally brilliant, sometimes awful, frequently frustrating, always entertaining.

Inside the Pac-10
  1. The Oregon Ducks. That's, like, axiomatic.
    Go Ducks!!

  2. The Oregon State Beavers. I'm a regionalist, and not much for traditional rivalries. I want to see the home-state lads do well.

  3. The Washington Huskies. More regionalism. Plus, Seattle is a groovy town. Plus, I suspect that it annoys the UW fans I know that I am generally supportive of their team, and that's fun.

  4. The Washington State Cougers. Though Pullman could not really be called "a groovy town."

  5. The Stanford Cardinal. Those guys are book-smart, too. I respect that.

  6. The California Bears. I like Cal because they are from, you know, Berkeley. Michael5000 is a hippy at heart.

  7. The USC Trojans. You have to admire a machine that works well. Really, really, really well.

  8. The U.C.L.A. Bruins. "U.C.L.A." "U.C.L.A." It just sounds good.

  9. The Arizona Wildcats. I pay grudging respect to the school where Mrs.5000 got her graduate degree. Plus, they are often easy to beat.

  10. The Arizona State Sun Devils, I have no use for. Sorry.

Outside the Pac-10

  • I have determined to like Oklahoma this year. This is partly to placate occasional L&TM5K commenter DrSchnell, partly in salute to the Oklahoma blogging contigent -- you guys are O.K.!!! -- and mostly because I have found the OU/U of O mini-rivalry of the past few years highly amusing. So I'm rooting for the Sooners, except of course when they play my regional favorite K-State. When they play my alma mater, Kansas, about which I have highly ambiguous feelings, I will hope for a tie. When they play Nebraska or Texas, I'll hope they not only win but run up a humiliating margin of victory.

  • I will continue my policy of rooting against every team in the SEC and the ACC. The exception is Auburn, which has a cool name.

  • Huge schools like Ohio State and Michigan are just boring. As is Notre Dame. I will root against them.

  • I will root for Purdue, because they are called the "Boilermakers," and Syracuse, because they are called the "Orangemen."

  • Who couldn't be in love with plucky Boise State after last year's season? Almost nobody!

  • Oh, and finally, I'm going to try to pay attention to Division I-AA Portland State this year. Not a bad team, interesting new coach, and I could in theory ride my bike 15 minutes and watch a quality football game for a pittance. With several dozen other fans. But still.

How about you, gentle reader? Who are you rooting for this year?


Anonymous said...

So much use of the word "Oregon"! Helllooooo! Famous. (I may have to adopt "famous" as my new catch phrase)

Rebel said...

Go Bearcats!

Anonymous said...

I just read your reading blogs and the final lists are daunting to me. Well, to sit and read anyway.

As far as foobah though, hail for the home turf eh? I have no loyalties there as far as I know. Enjoy the season!

Anonymous said...

I like the Sun Devils for the same reason you like the Boilermakers though I don't know what a Sun Devil is. I agree about the SEC though my exception is Georgia because Athens is supposed to be a groovy town though I've never been. My cousin lives in Pullman and though it may not be quite "groovy" I find there's something very appealing about the whole Pullman-Moscow metro area. I have lots of other sentences with though's in them though I'll spare you all.

Jenny! said...

Are we talking football??? The only part of football I like is the huddle...when they are all ass grabbing!

Michael5000 said...

@MDIC: Ooh, I've been forgetting to spam for orblog. I'll have to get back to that.

@rebel: Hmm. That would be, what, Cincinnati? I guess I could work with that.

@boo: The thing about football is, it doesn't really matter who wins. That's what makes it fun, and safe, to pretend that it DOES matter for 3 1/2 hours every week. You just pick a team, decide you care, and bang! you're a football fan.

@dug: I respect your decision regarding the Sun Devils but will not be joining you with that. Perhaps we can send each other banal taunting little Emails if the Sun Devils experience remarkable success or failure.

I concur with your logic regarding Georgia, and hereby declare that I am rooting for their intrepid Bulldogs.

Pullman ain't bad; I was dissing the town for cheap laffs. I like Moscow better, though. (I root for the Vandals, but they are kind of hapless and the post was already getting overlong. (Does a state as small as Idaho really need three big state schools? I ask you. (but I digress.)))

Michael5000 said...

@Jenny!: Me, I prefer the spectacle of the event and the strategic aspect of the game. But hey! I'm not going to sit here and knock ass-grabbing! Football offers something for everyone!

Anonymous said...

From the ASU web site:
"Arizona State junior quarterback Rudy Carpenter was one of 35 quarterbacks from around the country named to the Manning Award watch list"
In your face!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

What's Portland State's mascot? That could sway me . . .

Michael5000 said...

@Dr. Noisewater: Good point. Vikings.

Rebel said...

Bearcats = Willamette (damnit) ;)

Unknown said...

@rebel: Oh, really? I had no idea.

OK, first of all, that's Division III ball, so mostly we're just rooting that no one gets hurt.

Second, I happen to hold a genuine college degree from another school in the Northwest League, Lewis and Clark. They are actually fielding a team this year (they didn't last year) so I should probably root for the Pios first, Bearcats second. Is that acceptable?

Anonymous said...

You seem to have a lot of alma maters?

Michael5000 said...

@Critical Bill: I've noticed that too. I have four. In addition to the three indicated here, there's the good old University of Exeter. Being a British school, it does not field a football team. Well, not a real football team.

Rebel said...

Yes but in 1997 Willamette had the first female player in college football. [url=] Liz Heaston[/url] scored two extra points for the team in her first game, leading the Bearcats to a glorious victory over arch rival Linfield! ;)

Honestly, I'm not that into football, just had to give props to my alma mater.

blythe said...

good plan! ou's gonna kick serious ass this year. or totaly fuck up. either way, i'm going to every game!