Sunday, December 21, 2008

Christmas Break 2008

Gentle Readers! It is Solstice! Today is less than one second shorter than yesterday was, and tomorrow is going to be a whopping four seconds longer than today! (in the City of Roses. Adjust appropriately for your locality. This site might help.

So, in celebration of the inevitable turn of the seasons, it's time for the L&TM5K to put its feet up for a week. Hell, maybe even two. We'll see how I feel.

Castle5000 is decked out in holiday style for Christmas, the seasonal celebration of our people, and there are lights, a festooned tree, and little bulbs on the fichus plant in the dining room. The good crèche is on the mantle, and the emergency backup crèche, a cheap plastic dealie that was my late grandfather’s, is up in the guestroom. The latter has proven alarmingly inviting from attack by Caliban, our living cat. He has swatted a camel and sent the Virgin Mary flying with his tail, but so far we have managed to keep the Baby Jesus from harm. It seems like that would be bad Christmas karma.

So happy holidays to you, whichever ones you subscribe to! No Quizzes this week! Instead, I leave you with this Holiday vignette!

The Holiday Vignette

In the office. Michael5000 happens on some people who are talking about Santa Claus. A coworker who grew up in equatorial Africa asks him a question.

Coworker (joking): Do you believe in Santa Claus?

michael5000: No, I never did believe in Santa Claus. I thought the whole idea was crazy.

Coworker: There was a guy in my high school who believed that Santa Claus was killed in the Second World War.

m5k: OK, that’s weird.

Coworker: We thought so too.

pause

Coworker: It’s always weird seeing Santa Claus in Africa.

m5k: Why?

Coworker: Because he always wears the same, the same….

m5k: He’s overdressed!

Coworker: Right.

m5k: Unless maybe he was on the peak of Kilamanjaro.

Coworker: Yes, that’s true.

17 comments:

gl. said...

scary solstice! and a hoary new year!

Yankee in England said...

It might be a little disturbing and freaky if your dead cat was wreaking havioc on the creche.

Michael5000 said...

@gl.: Hear hear!

@Yank: Indeed. One ghost story per castle per year, is my motto.

gl. said...

you have another ghost story this year?

Michael5000 said...

Kind of.

gl. said...

holy cow! how did i miss that the first time? amazing!

Kadonkadonk said...

Have a great break!

KarmaSartre said...

Alternate Monday Quiz for those in withdrawal --

Name ten body parts, three letters each, no tit, no ass.

Karin said...

Okay, Karmasartre, here goes:

1. ear
2. eye
3. lip
4. arm
5. leg
6. hip
7. abs
8. toe
9. pit
10.rib

karmaSartre said...

Karin: 8 out of 10! I used the exclamation mark in that last phrase, so I have none left to award you. Would you settle for a cent sign?

"abs" and "pit" aren't allowed. Think head area.

Karin said...

karma: you have me baffled, or rather, i've given up too soon. Let me think. ... ok.

lid (as in eye lid)
jaw
gum

will any of those do?

KarmaSartre said...

Karin, very good. Jaw and Gum are the last two. Jaw, gum, rib and hip often baffle people.

Your prize is the right-third of your face, returned to your picture. Unsure how to implement.

mrs.5000 said...

@KarmaSartre: OK, the first eight were easy--arm, rib, eye, ear, jaw, leg, toe, lip--then I had a few that were either slangy, archaic or monster movieish--maw, taw, nut--or shortened words--lid, tip, pit--but I'm pretty happy with pec and ova. Oh, I suppose it's already Tuesday, though.

mrs. 5000 said...

OK, so I'm missing a hip and my teeth have fallen out, but at least I've got my ova. And at least one pec. But why not abs? Ah, The Ruling Committee on the Ten Sacred Body Parts wants nothing to do with plurals, I'll bet. Ah, well.

KarmaSartre said...

@the Misses

Missing a hip? That's tragic! "abs" are out because
- no parts are allowed that I don't actually have
- i think it's short for something long

Thanks for playing. We can do this about this time every year and a half!

boo said...

And a well deserved time off it is.

I wonder if they'll put Santa's name on the WWII memorial. If they do then call a believer.

Serendipity said...

Michael5000! Guess what I got in my stocking?

A handmade gift from Estonia!

What with its 5000 MFN status, I was so excited!

(I'll try to send a picture in a few days.)