Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Overheard: Two Vignettes

I: In the Taqueria.

Two young women at a booth, pierced and tattooed, upbeat and pleasant, each with a small child.

Woman #1 lets her child talk on the cell phone.

Woman: Tell Daddy we're having lunch.

Child: We're havin' lunth.

Woman: Tell him we'll see him later.

Child: See you later!

Woman: Tell him you love him.

Child: I love you!

Woman: Tell him Jesus loves him.

Child: Jesus love you!

After a while, the child joins the other kid at the restaurant's video game, which is one of those boxing games with a joystick and a single button on which adolescent males pretend to beat the shit out of each other. They play with the controls as the moms gather their coats.

Woman: OK, kids, let's go.

Child #2: We're playing a game!

Woman: Well, it's time to go. (sees game) Besides, that's probably not a game I'd want you to be playing anyway.


Woman (abstracted, to no one in particular): It's certainly not a game about Jesus.

II. Tailgating

Outside a large football stadium, before the big game. A parade of student protesters go by, carrying signs and chanting. A sour middle-aged couple watches.

Woman: Everybody's got to have their different causes.

Man: Yep.

Woman: They've all got their thing. There's "global warming," there's the environmentalists, there's "climate change".....

Man: Huh.

And, in sports...

Have y'all checked out that FreeRice thing? It's getting pretty addictive. A certain member of the michael5000 household, whom I will not embarass by divulging her name, got to 50! Damn!

Also, I should confess to the world that regular L&TM5K commenter MyDogIsChelsea just finished destroying me in the Facebook "Scrabulous" online Scrabble game, 461-270. That's 461 - 270. Damn.

(Install Scrabulous and find me on FB! I obviously need more distractions!)


Jennifer said...

Nice vignettes! (I especially like the first one.)

Rhetorical Twist said...

Don't worry about your loss on Scrabulous. Pretty soon you'll be bragging about destroying me!

Jessica said...

Oh, so *now* I understand why Allie sent me the Scrabulous invite. I also like the first Vignette. Now, wouldn't it be interesting if the women from Vignette II met the ladies from No. 1? ;-)

Well, I guess I've distracted myself enough online...back Gertrude Stein. *shudders*

Rebel said...

Love the vignettes the first one seriously cracked me up!

Have you seen that blog about things overheard in New York? It's hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Alright!!! Bold AND big font!! That's the kind of celebration a 461 deserves. ;)

And way to go, Mrs5000 for reaching 50! A coworker of mine was up very late last night trying to bust out of 49 and into the ranks of the elite few, but alas was unsuccessful.

Love these vignettes!

d said...

are there ANY games about jesus?

Michael5000 said...

@jenn: Thanks!

@allie: Nah, I wouldn't brag about beating someone. I strive always to be all gracious and shit.

@Jessica: As I said earlier, Gertrude Stein wasn't all bad, she had, all bad, she had, some interesting thoughts in her head, she had, in her head, she had, her head, she had, she had, her head had head had had head had. I'm also attached to her as the only major midcentury literary figure with a declared enthusiasm for college football.

@rebel: No! Link?

@mydog: How did you figure out it was Mrs.5000?

@d: I was wondering about that too....

Rebel said...


some are a bit hard to believe... but hilarious nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

I suppose it could have been Yoyo the Cat playing FreeRice, but people probably realize vocabulary isn't her strong suit.

I only stayed at 50 for about two seconds, of course, yet it was oddly thrilling. I think I was buoyed by the thundering reverberations of Michael5000 down the hall battling spaceships for Jesus.

Chance said...

Those are hilarious. Keep it up. As a blogger, there's a lot of utilitarian value to your eavesdropping.

Rex Parker said...

RE: Free Rice: I got to 50 for a very short while as well.

My need to tell you all this is kinda disturbing me.

More vignettes!


Karin said...

Rex: If you're interested, I have some fun eavesdropping vignettes on my blog. Check it out if you like.

http://kickinthebuttkarin.blogspot.com/ Look for Listening Out posts.

Eavesdropping is good. And that's that.

M5K: Please excuse the above self advertising.

Karin said...

Oh, about Free Rice. I can't seem to clear Level 46, which makes me feel bad for all those starving people I'm not helping. If only I were smarter they wouldn't be so hungry.

One time I started by guessing incorrectly every single time until I got down to Level 1 so that I could rake in the rice like a rice raking maniac all the way to Level 46. It was a blast and woo-hoo did people get fed that day!

d said...

alright m5k, let it be known that i now thoroughly hate you. i played free rice all afternoon. i only got to level 44. i will now commence playing it constantly until i get to level 50.

thanks for ruining my weekend.

Rebel said...

"One time I started by guessing incorrectly every single time until I got down to Level 1 so that I could rake in the rice like a rice raking maniac all the way to Level 46. It was a blast and woo-hoo did people get fed that day!"

Karin - you're my hero... there I was feeling bad about myself for not getting above level 45. I think I'm going to try this technique!

Michael5000 said...

@rebel: Fun. I'm putting it on the blogroll.

@Chance et al: Thanks everybody for all the love about these little vignettes. And I thought y'all were just using me for my quizzes....

@Rex: It's OK, man, my need to announce that I beat MyDog (albeit only by four points) on the followup game is just as disturbing to me.

@d/rebel/karin: I haven't been higher than 45 or 46, myself. Mrs.5K, as I am sure is pretty obvious, is the brains of the outfit. Karin, the fact that you've already beat me to my plan of intentionally crashing and burning down to level 1 and then building back up, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Or maybe it disturbs me. Can't tell.