Monday, October 25, 2010

DorkFest 2010

A frantic Email arrived last Thursday from a regular L&TM5K reader asking "Have I missed DorkFest this year?" No, gentle reader, you have not missed DorkFest. But you have certainly taken an early lead.

DorkFest 2010

DorkFest is the traditional October festival where we come together to share our dorkiness together in a mutually supportive and respectful environment underlain with a seam of nasty, unforgiving competitiveness, resentment about having been passed over in the past, and complaints that one has nothing to add to past years' entries. From the entries submitted, it is my duty, in conjunction with the lame duck Dork, to choose the blog's official Dork and Vice-Dork for the coming year.

But first let us praise the great Dorks of the past.
2009 Dork: Eversaved
2009 Vice-Dork: Jenners
2008 Dork: Rex Parker
2008 Vice-Dork: Rebel
2007 Dork: g
2007 Vice-Dork: FingerstotheBone
Wow, that's a seriously dorky crowd! Think you have what it takes?


I will dare to define dorkiness here as "the shaping of one's life around one's arbitrary enthusiasms." Apply for dorkhood by submitting an answer that begins with this phrase:

I embody dorkiness by ____________.

Your entry -- which must be in the comments by Saturday morning -- may be anywhere from the theoretical minimum of five words (eg. "I embody dorkiness by geohashing") to, well, the sky's the limit. Links to web locations that demonstrate your dorky achievements are acceptible. Supplementary material may be emailed to the obvious gmail acccount.

Simple references to previous years' entries are less fun and effective than are previous years' entries cut and pasted along with acid little resentful comments appended.  And you can add recent achievements.  What have you dorked for us lately?

Eversaved and Jenners are ineligible for office this year, and -- Jenners -- it is traditional for the Vice-Dork to seethe with resentment at this juncture that she does not ascend automatically to Dork, let alone to be barred from even running.  

Entries with remarks that are implicitly or explicitly flattering of the L&TM5K content are always especially welcome.

Submit your DorkFest entry in the comments.  Chop chop!!!


Joanna said...

Am I only allowed one entry? Is amending my entry as more stuff occurs to me forbidden? Should I be working on my entry privately, to reveal all in one glorious comment on Saturday morning (assuming I don't forget)?

Michael5000 said...

These are all excellent questions.

Morgan said...

I embody dorkiness by learning! The largest portion of what aspects of my life that can be considered dorky are related to the world of academics.

1 - Can recite Tom Lehrer's element song from memory
2 - One day I had half of a free day from school (due to the fact that I attend two schools, and they don't always have synchronized schedules). I spent that portion of the day with the chemistry teacher I had last year, mixing chemicals.
3 - AP US History, the hardest class in the school, is my favorite class.
4 - Young Historian's club is an optional before-school discussion session about AP US History. I have been elected Prime Minister of this club.
5 - I get excited when we learn how to do various math things in calculus. Derivative equations are the best thing ever.

Other things that embody my dorkiness:

*Sometimes I quote Doctor Strangelove. In the Doctor Strangelove voice. And attempt to tie it in to the conversation.
*I run cross country.
*I read this blog.
*I participate in this competition.
*I am subscribed to fivethirtyeight, a political polling analysis blog.
*I am a fan of They Might Be Giants.
*I know the name of the guy with the really long name from the 6th episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
*Sometimes I compare things in real life to Star Trek TNG episodes.
*Often I can name said episode and tell you what season it was from.
*I play Dwarf Fortress. If you've never heard of this, look it up. I think that alone would drive me to at least the top two in this competition.
*I make dorky jokes that my friends don't get, such as "In 1519, Spain gained +1 movement on water." (I wonder if Michael will get this one)
*I am a casual Nethack player.
*I have asked for a linear particle accelerator for Christmas. (I didn't get one.)
*I listen to Schoolhouse Rock songs of my own free will. I'm trying to learn "No More Kings" on the guitar.
*I listen to Rush.
*One time for a date I took Hannah to Powell's.

Michael5000 said...

Gosh, Morgan, what guy with the really long name from the 6th episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus>?

Eversaved said...

I'm pretty sad that I'm ineligible for office this year- especially since I feel like I've become so much dorkier lately.

For example, my jokes now fall into 3 categories:
1) Jokes about theoreticians(i.e. "That's what Durkheim said!")
2) The make-stats-sound-dirty-joke (i.e. How big is YOUR R-squared?)
3) Other people just cold laughing at my awkwardness (i.e. "Ever, how many sociologists does it take to lock up a bicycle!?")

Other examples abound. Perhaps I shall share some others as the DorkFest season wears on.

Until then, good luck, aspiring dorks! I look forward to hearing all about your dorky endeavours!

Yankee in England said...

Tom Lehrer ROCKS!

I think Fingers to the Bone should win if only for her snarky comment about the fact that I never used the first toilet stall in a public bathroom from the first DorkFest (I now still always use the first stall thanks to that snarky comment) but I am still going to put together a humble entry.

Joanna I would go with the slow burn a few well chosen comments and lead up to a all impressive guns blazing smack down on Saturday morning. Not that I am going to do that myself but it is fun to watch.

M5K do we get a cool button we can post on our blog to promote DorkFest to our readership? Any excuse to bring out the old Interrobang.

Michael5000 said...

Hmm, maybe I'll try to come up with something tonight.

Elaine said...

How do I embody dorkiness?
Let me count the ways:

1) picking up anything that might someday be of use--to wit: bird feathers (even though this is technically in violation of Federal law); bird nests (ditto); acorn caps; sweet gum balls (actually these are seed cases); pine cones; seeds from plants I might want to grow some time; interesting rocks (occasionally picking up more than I can lug back); sea shells; the shed skins of snakes; discarded egg-shells from newly-hatched birds (green herons, robins, finches); lost pennies, and the occasional nickel, dime, or quarter; trash tossed from passing cars (either put in the trash or the recycling bin); nails and screws (on the theory that the tire I save might be mine.) DH (Dear--or other D word--Hubby) says it is like taking a two-year-old for a walk, which is patently unfair, since I can tie my own shoes.

2) killing time at the library reading 'Natural History Magazine.'

3) continuing to wear clothes that were stylish in 1994 because they still fit.

4) exhibiting unusual curiosity; e.g., examining the stomach contents of the fish I catch, just to see what they've been ingesting...and then by thinking you might be interested to hear what I found.

I could go on, but I never miss the local news. How dorky is THAT?

Jenners said...

I guess one of my final actions as Vice Dork will be further seething. I think this unfair and wrong.

And whoever was worried about having missed Dorkfest deserves to be the Dork for 2010. That's my (seething) two cents.

UnwiseOwl said...

I think you should be seething about the Vice-Dork no longer being able to participate in dorkfest, Jenners, that's a much dorkier pursuit. After all, there was never such a cruel and unkind dorky rule as that in the past. It's probably caused by the readership's fear of your infernal dorkdom.

fingerstothebone said...

Having missed last year's DorkFest, I'm now back in full force. I'm happy to see that I have a fan base right here Sphere-of-Influence5000 (thank you Yankee in England, I shall remember you in my acceptance speech).

So, let the games begin (and of course it does not really begin until I submit my first of many entries):

0000. Note my sucking up to the game host with a rather inflated reference to his blog.

0001. Yes, I do still always use the 1st stall.

0010. I have spent over 650 hours volunteering this year, instead of doing actual work, all of which is well documented, which leads us to...

0011. I keep track of how I spend all my waking hour in a FileMaker database in 15 minute increments.

0100. And not only that, the database is continuously being improved to give me ever more and accurate but probably useless data.

0101. I have a collection of used rubber bands (no, not used rubbers), snippets of wires, twist ties, hoses/tights with holes, socks with holes, underwear with holes...all destined to become Really Useful Someday.

0110. My friends and neighbors bring me things like dead, desiccated mice, and I like it!

0111. I have had a subscription continuously to Natural History Magazine since 1982, and yet it took me 3 months to notice that they ceased publication earlier this year (but rejoice (!), they've started up again).

1000. I would still be wearing my clothes from 1975 because they still fit, if only my mother hadn't tossed them out because they've gone out of fashion...become retro...gone out of fashion...become retro...gone out of fashion yet again.

1001. I AM the local news...well, ok, I've BEEN the local news. So I'm a has-been, that's dorky, isn't it?

1010. And counting in binary looks so much more impressive -- I have 1010(+1) qualifications for DorkDom already.

Thank you.


1011. I still brush my cat's teeth.

fingerstothebone said...

Oh yeah, in case you were wondering, the 30 minutes I just spent putting together my DorkFest Submission is going into my personal timesheet database under 'Exercise.' Whether it's useful exercise or pointless exercise, history can decide.

Morgan said...

Either Johann or Karl, I guess. They lived in Ulm.

fingerstothebone said...

OH NOOOOOO! I forgot to start my entry with "I embody dorkiness by..."!

Should I submit again? Let me know, I'll be very happy to submit again. Really! REALLY!! Just let me know, 'k?

Elaine said...

I think fingerstothebone's 'submission' demonstrates some liberal 'borrowing' (cadging, usurping, plagiarizing) of others' material. Unworthy!

Nichim said...

I embody dorkiness by continuing to exist and pursue that which is interesting to me. My publication for this year:
Zenk, H., Johnson, T., and Braun Hamilton, S. (2010). Chinuk Wawa (Chinuk Jargon) Etymologies. University of British Columbia Working Papers in Linguistics, 27: Papers for ICSNL XLIV and ICSNL XLV - The Forty-fourth and Forty-fifth International Conferences on Salish and Related Languages, 270-348

Also, I immediately want to copy fingerstothebone's "0011. I keep track of how I spend all my waking hour in a FileMaker database in 15 minute increments," but I feel like I'd have to build my own little SQL database, and I'd correct her "hour" to "hours."

Nichim said...

Sorry, should probably be:

Zenk, H., Johnson, T., and Braun Hamilton, S. (2010). Chinuk Wawa (Chinuk Jargon) Etymologies. University of British Columbia Working Papers in Linguistics, 27: Papers for ICSNL XLIV and ICSNL XLV - The Forty-fourth and Forty-fifth International Conferences on Salish and Related Languages, 270-348

I am very interested in standardized reference and citation formats, the disciplinary affiliations and information priorities demonstrated in such, and the analysis of attempted comprehensive instructions to writers adhering to a particular format, such as that of the American Psychological Association, above.

Mm mud said...

3hrs ago: I discovered goats are dorks.

16hrs ago(End of 6mile run finished while the rain was taking a break, not that it would have stopped me): I confess to my husband that I'd like to win dorkfest even if I didn't entirely embrace my dorkhood. He kindly proceeds to demonstrate a winning move, ie.

Walk 1/4 mile while swinging same pair of arm & leg (R-R and L-L) It is a visual clue so you have to try it out.

I could see his point but my suggestions to him- let's try it on a less familiar trail; please, let me walk 20 paces behind you while you demonstrate your veritable skill.

Michael5000 said...

Mm: We might need video of this...

Elaine said...

Human trotters? Not Normal. Stand well back, m5000!

Kritkrat said...

I embody dorkiness by saying frak all the time. Also, my hangover cure includes watching LOTR.

Anonymous said...

I embody dorkiness by regularly reading this blog.

Mm mud said...

Since a 1000 words or less didn't do the trick and I do so want to prove that I embody dorkiness...

it would be ever more dorkier to tell you all about the effort it took to make this movie but then some other judgement call stopped it!

Mm mud said...

I figured I'd make it a one-click process for some folks-

View dork march

Yankee in England said...

Please check out the post below on my blog for my entry to this years DorkFest

fingerstothebone said...

I win! I win!