Monday, February 21, 2011

Michael5000's "Which U.S. President Am I?" Quiz

In celebration of Presidents' Day (U.S.)!  Those of you from countries without U.S. Presidents should feel welcome to play along!

Clarification: This is not the kind of "Quiz" in which there is a correct answer.  This is a hilarious send-up of the kinds of personality quizzes popular on Facebook and in magazines.  Really, it's a hoot.  I kept chuckling to myself while I was writing it.

Instructions: Respond to each statement with "Yes," "No," or "Sometimes."

1. I have truly awesome facial hair.

2. I think that preserving the right to own slaves is really important.

3. My life and career are tainted by scandal.

4. I do love me a tariff.

5. I am going to die in office.

6. I issue vetoes at the drop of a hat.

7. I look at the territory of neighboring nations with a certain covetousness.

8. I hail from the Buckeye State.

9. I wrangle with the Judicial Branch.

10. I am basically coasting on the success of my military career.

Scoring: Read any standard political history of the United States, or any detailed summary of the lives and accomplishments of the U.S. Presidents, and pick the one who best fits your answers.  Then, post your result in your Facebook profile.


Elaine said...

This looks too much like WORK! Ohio is 'The Mother of Presidents,' with the most presidents born (if not always raised) there. I've been to numerous memorials and birthplaces (field trip mom)...Ohio loves to brag. Sometimes the scandals didn't come out til slightly later (Kennedy) but it's hard to find one who's entirely, as they say, Simon pure. However, only a few were bald-faced crooks...

Michael5000 said...

No, no, it's not a knowledge test. It's a self-assessment tool.

Kritkrat said...

1. No
2. NO
3. Sometimes
4. Wha?
5. No
6. No
7. Sometimes
8. Oh, hell no
9. No
10. No
Other than the New England part, it's AMAZING how much I have in common with John Adams. I hope HBO makes a min-series starring Paul Giamatti about my life someday!

Michael5000 said...

Kadonk: You are a TOTAL John Adams!

Rebel said...

It'll be more fun if you tell us which one we are:
1 No
2 NO
3 No
4 No
5 No
7 More so envy than covetousness.
8 No
9 Sometimes
10 No

Aviatrix said...

I agree. You have to tell us which one we are.

1. No
2. No
3. Yes
4. No
5. Yes
6. Yes
7. Yes
8. No
9. No
10. No

Michael5000 said...

No, see, it's funny because actually providing an answer would be the hard part, and I... oh, hell, never mind. Some things are only funny to me.

Aviatrix said...

It was funny to us too, but we don't want to do the hard part, and we know you'd be better at it than us.

mhwitt said...

11. Some wackos worry profoundly about my parentage.
12. I am over-educated.
13. I am under-educated.
14. I make this look easy.
15. I wish wigs were still in fashion.

Michael5000 said...

16. I wish Whigs were still in fashion.