Thursday, October 25, 2007

Why, It's Friday!

Thursday Quiz Roundup

It has been the season of the upset in college football, and apparently some of that mojo has leaked into the Thursday Quiz this week. Some of the stalwarts, apparently not civics enthusiasts, were scared off by the subject matter. Perennial Quiz stud Rex Parker ended a run of eight straight top three places, falling short of a star by a mere one point.

Keeping it all in the family, however, Sandy -- who if memory serves is in fact Mrs. Parker -- brings home her first star. It's a silver one.

Another first-time winner, Kadonkadonk, grabs the blue.

The gold star stays here at Castle5000 this week, the first finish higher than a green star for a woman several felt was underrated in DorkFest. In her entry, she wrote: If, in evaluating these qualifications, you have any lingering doubts as to my preeminent Dorkiness, please peruse the photo you took of me last winter conducting optical experiments with a pinhole camera.

Well, you be the judge:


Congratulations to the winner of The Thursday Quiz IX, the lovely and brilliant Mrs.5000!

(I'm sure Sandy and Kadonkadonk are lovely and brilliant, too.)


Surreal Detail of the Week

Last weekend, I met a guy and started to introduce myself.

"Oh, I know who you are," he said. "You're michael5000. I recognize you from the picture on your blog."


Sweeeeeeet.....


You know who I am! I'm michael5000!

That's right, y'all! I'm michael5000! And I'm not happy about the imposters and the faquers and the haters that, a leading search engine tells me, have been messin' with my name.

Dude on "datinginoklahoma.com"! You're not michael5000! I'm michael5000! And by the way, nobody wants to let you make them happy!

Shit, man!

I've got a brand to protect, here.

Houston area DJ! You're not michael5000 either! Heard of East Coast rap? Sure you have! Heard of West Coast rap? Damn straight! Gulf Coast rap? I don't think so!!!

Listen up!! I'm michael5000! And nobody lays down beats about the bitches like me, yo! Cease and desist, dawg!


Dorky Weekend Football Preview

The #5 Oregon Ducks? The #4 Oklahoma Sooners? Man, I'd be an idiot not to stop following football right now and just to coast on the memories. Unfortunately, as the previous paragraph illustrates, I'm kind of an idiot.

The Ducks take on USC in a game that threatens to be very exciting. I'm guessing it will be within a score, but I honestly don't know which way it will swing.

What of the Beavs? They host Stanford, and will win by, let's say, 39 - 21.

The Sooners will take advantage of a nice weekend off to catch up on their studies.


It's the weekend, people! Enjoy it in good health! I'll expect some good stories out of you next week!

22 comments:

mydogischelsea said...

Holy shit, someone recognized you FROM YOUR BLOG?!?!?!

IF THAT DOESN'T WIN THE DORKFEST AWARD THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOES.

Your blog has skyrocketed in popularity while mine has sunken into oblivion. Sad. I can't do anything right anymore! Not blogging, not constitutional amendments, not dorkiness, not colors, not Impressionism, not anything! AND a fruit fly landed in my sparkling cider and I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED IT.

Sigh.

Michael5000 said...

There was a young woman
Who swallowed a fly.
She checked on Google,
It says that she'll die.

I don't know why
She swallowed the fly
But Google says
She's going to die.

mydogischelsea said...

Although, on the upside, my statcounter indicates that someone translated my blog into Italian. So at least I've got readers in the Motherland.

In case you were wondering, your blog's name translates to La vita e tempi di Michael5000. Mine is Il mio cane e Chelsea, which just doesn't have that same je ne sais quoi, or however you'd say that in Italian.

mydogischelsea said...

Hey! Thanks for the poem!!

Michael5000 said...

By the way, I wasn't just, like, laying a curse on MDIC with that poem, or anything. That's not my style.

MDIC has some issues with Dr. Google.

La vita e tempi di Michael5000 and Il mio cane e Chelsea sound like film festival movies. Awesome!

mrs.5000 said...

Only La Vita e Tempi di Michael5000 sounds like a Fellini film, and you'd be uncharmed to find your life choreographed as a parade of women in ridiculous hats. Il Mio Cane e Chelsea sounds more in the sentimental coming-of-age genre. Village boy's pooch steals girdles off the clothesline and runs barking through il teatro, that sort of thing.

fingerstothebone said...

Well now, I must mention that Mr. Fingers recognized you because I make him, MAKE HIM, read my blog, including the comments. I quiz him on it.

Michael5000 said...

@fingers: Shh! It's a better story if it sounds like someone just ran up to me in the street.

Michael said...

...making him read your blog is a good idea, though. You should make him read it from somewhere other than your home. For a better hit count.

Sandy said...

I just did a little dance at my desk for beating Rex at something (as some of you know, he only likes for our daughter to beat him at things). Immediately after entering my answers I pulled out a copy of the constitution and hit myself over the head with it for missing some obvious stuff. Does that make me a dork - no, just a social studies teacher and a naturalized citizen. The citizenship test - now there's a Thursday Quiz for you.
I'm going to MDIC's blog right now to bump up her count and study her photo so I'll recognize her when I see her (in an airport or somewhere, I guess).

Rebel said...

I was recognized online by someone who had seen me somewhere in real life... that was cool.

and I agree with MDIC - you win the dorkfest award, hands down! =)

fingerstothebone said...

About those hit counts -- you can't trust them. RSS readers don't show up, and Mr. Fingers uses RSS.

And about those citizenship tests -- I was asked one question during my citizenship test, and that was 'how long have you been in this country?' That was it! Then he threw my file on the floor, where there was this GIANT pile of other files, each identical to mine. I thought, well, I guess I'll have to start this process all over again in a few weeks.

But it came through. And when I was at the swearing in (or whatever they call it), the guy who was my interviewer showed up, sat down, and pulled out a 12" high plastic model of the Statue of Liberty and plunked it down on the table.

Then we were all suppose to pledge our allegiance, except I had NO idea how it was supposed to go (I still don't), and they didn't hand out copies for us to read.

I suppose things are really different now.

Sandy said...

Its not creepy and stalkerish of me to be looking out for MDIC at airports, is it?
At my swearing in, the INS man kept us all entertained by telling stories until the judge was ready, and the Daughters of the American Revolution handed out pamphlets on the proper treatment and display of the American Flag.

Rebel said...

Well, as long as we're handing out citizenship stories. I got to go with my best friend from elementary school when she became a citizen. We went into New York with her family. She had to show them her report card, and then they told her to say the pledge of alligence. I was a bit ... um... retarded... and didn't totally understand what we were doing there. But I knew the pledge of allegience, so I said it with her. You know, just to show that I knew it too. ;)

Afterwards we went to see Me & My Gal on Broadway & went to dinner at an Israeli restaurant with the rest of her extended family. I sat there listening to everyone talking & laughing in Hebrew while my friend tried translating every few minutes.

In retrospect I feel very honored to have been included. But at the time it was all a bit surreal.

Michael5000 said...

Can I just say here -- 'cause where else would I say it? -- that reading My Dog Is Chelsea in Italian is a real hoot. Take the post about "The Seven Faces of MDIC." Pictures of a woman laughing, hanging out with friends, turning green (?), drinking wine -- and with all of the Italian text, she seems TOTALLY ITALIAN!! Down below, there's comments, in Italian, from somebody named michael5000. Doubtless, he's saying something intellectual and sophisticated! He's European! He's speaking Italian!

Michael5000 said...

@Sandy: I'm glad that you had a chance to bring home the quiz glory this week. Well done. Is your daughter the charmer in the "Pop Sensation" masthead?

Oh, I don't think stalking MDIC in random airports is as much "creepy" as, well, "unrealistically optimistic." If you really want to stalk her effectively, you'll probably need to put boots on the ground here in PDX. You are welcome to use our guestroom.

@Sandy, fingers, Rebel: Great naturalization stories!

Rex Parker said...

Ah well, a silver star for my wife eases the pain of failure. She SHOULD have gotten a gold - she's a social studies teacher after all - but this'll have to do. Oh ... now that I read the comments, I see that she is all up in this blog today. So you all have met. I'll shut up now. But not for long.

rp

Rex Parker said...

WAIT a minute. It just dawned on me that if my wife had abstained from the quiz (as per usual), I Would Have Received My Ninth Straight Star! You're supposed to make me look Good, honey. Come on!

rp

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I envy your fan base!!!!

Congrats.

Kadonkadonk said...

I'm a winner! I ROCK!!

Michael5000 said...

@Rex: L&TM5K is published under the laws of the State of Oregon, which is a community property state. Her stars are your stars. Your stars are her stars.

@Dr. Ken: There's no need to envy my fan base. You, too, are welcome to enjoy my madcap portfolio of quizes, anecdotes, essays, and audience-participation boondoggles.

Oh, you meant... never mind.

@Kadonkadonk: Yes, you do.

blythe said...

i must say that i think in part, your increased recognition is due to your newfound association with oklahoma. just saying. clearly, the key to a readership is to be a dork, and i just am not dorky enough. sadness.