My new laptop computer arrived on Wednesday. It is superior to the 1999 laptop that I have been using hitherto in a number of ways:
- it exceeds the older machine in memory, speed, and processing power by roughly the same factor by which the older machine exceeds a toaster.
- its screen is still securely attached to its keypad.
- it was not manufactured during the three-day period when people thought that computers of the future might connect to the internet through an infrared beam.
- its battery will hold a charge significantly longer than my older laptop's 2 to 4 seconds.
- it is capable of using those newfangled flash drives.
- it is connectable to the internet by means other than dial-up (or, theoretically, infrared).
- it is lighter, yet has a larger screen.
- it is blue.
The Obvious Question
The obvious question, though, is: what should I name my new machine? Being a deeply traditional man, I like to consult the calandar of saints when I name my computers. The old laptop, for instance, is Vincent, as it was St.Vincent's Day (I forget which day, or even which St. Vincent) in 1999 when it arrived in my home. It's tricky, though, because October 15 is a bit of a saint's day bonanza! Here are the choices:
- Aurelia of Strasbourg
- Bruno of Quefort
- Gaius of Korea
- Leonard Vandoeuvre
- Lucian of Antioch
- Teresa of Avila
- Thecla of Kitzengen
- Wulfram of Sens
Now, I'm going to stick with first names only, because having a computer named "Bruno of Quefort" would be pretty damn silly (unless I lived in Quefort, but I don't). Having a computer named "Bruno" might be kind of tight, though. "Gaius" is right out though, as it would remind me of Caligula. And I don't want my computer to be named "Teresa," because that's too close to Tereza, so that name is taken.
What do you think? Me and my little blue, nameless machine await your input....
But what does all of this have to do with DorkFest?
Why, nothing at all. Why do you ask?
DorkFest Related Material!!
As the great yearly celebration of DorkFest continues, Rebel wrote in to rectify what she refers to as a "gross oversight": the lack of a DorkFest flag. She offers two prospective designs, which I shall present here without further comment:
And la gringissima sends this in, with the question "does past dorkiness count?"
My answer is that yes, past dorkyness certainly counts -- but I would also want to see some contemporary material from the Brothers Gringissima.
Anyway, to get yourself caught up, here's
The Complete DorkFest Material to Date!
There's one more day to Flaunt your Dork! The rigorous evaluation process will begin sometime on Saturday! And then, the world will hold its breath and wait.... for the next Dork to be announced!
DorkFest 2008 -- the Original Post
DorkFest 2008 -- the Tuesday Post
Yankee in England's DorkPost
la gringissima's DorkPost
Bridget B's Old Oregon Flag Contest Post, Dorkily Submitted as a DorkPost
update: MJ's DorkPost
update: Blythe's DorkPost