Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Clearance Sale Quiz: Quoting Sarah Palin

Only eight days past its sell-by date, it's
the L&TM5K Sarah Palin Quote Quiz!!!
a Karmasartre/michael5000 joint

DID she or DIDN'T she say it?

1. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border."

2. "We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation."

3. "Now you'll hear some people saying, they'll say, 'how can someone from way up there in Alaska understand what things are like here in Mississippi?' But there are a lot of things that Alaska and the South have in common that most people just don't expect. For example, I like pork rinds. But that doesn't fit the mold."

4. “I have more executive experience than Barack Obama even has.”

5. “In politics, there are some candidates who might use change to promote their careers. And then there are those who don’t, like John McCain, who would never use their careers to promote change.”

6. "Well, let's see. There's ― of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ―"

7. "They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan."

8. "Yes" is what I say to good ideas. I'm all about "yes". That's why I've gotten so much done in all my executive position experiences, and why I'll do a good job as vice-president."

9. "I told the Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' on that Bridge to Nowhere."

10. "As a governor, I have to be faced every hour of every day with the kinds of decisions about health care, and taxes, and defense -- things like that, executive decisions -- that as a Senator, Barack Obama and Joe Biden don't, he doesn't need to make."

11. "If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

12. "I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't."

13. "When it comes to maverick -- I just think the American people need to ask themselves, who is the real maverick in this election? Because it's not, not Barrack Obama. It's John McCain who is the maverick that the American people want in the White House!"

14. “Well, there’s Chief Justice Roberts of course, and that great American Clarence Thomas, and isn’t it just -- I just think it's wonderful that people of any color can rise to elected office in this great United States of America.”

The L&TM5K Sarah Palin Quote Quiz is a production of the Life & Times of Michael5000 -- michael5000, executive producer.

Based upon a concept by Karmasartre.
Authentic Quotes Research: Karmasartre
Inauthentic Quote Fabrication: michael5000 & Karmasartre
Quiz Sequencing: michael5000
Authentic Quotes Production: Governor Sarah L. H. Palin

Special Thanks to: the mainstream media

The L&TM5K Sarah Palin Quote Quiz should be played for entertainment purposes only.


Karin said...

1. she did (or was it Tina Fey as Sarah Palin?)
2. she did (oh, why not)
3. please tell me she didn't
4. she didn't (did she?)
5. she did
6. she did
7. no, no, no, please no
8. i don't know, she didn't
9. she did
10. she did
11. dunno, she didn't
12. she didn't
13. she did
14. dunno, she didn't

oh, i'm so glad she's out of the limelight.

fingerstothebone said...

1. oh yes
2. yes again
3. don't know, but I wouldn't put it past her
4. sounds like a yes
5. I hope she said that!
6. yes
7. well, maybe not this one
8. don't know
9. yes
10. yes
11. sounds like her
12. no?
13. yes
14. again, I wouldn't put it past her

fingerstothebone said...

Hey, and I see that you got some ads!

Cartophiliac said...

A quiz on Wednesday? I'm so disoriented!

1. said it
2. said it
3. don't think so, sounds like one of Michael's fibs
4. said it
5. made it up
6. said it
7. made it up
8. madi ti up
9. said it
10. madi it up
11. said it
12. said it
13. said it
14. made it up

"Special Thanks to: the mainstream media"

You mean the "gotcha" media...

The Calico Cat said...

To think that any of them can be real quotes is scary....

But then again I live far to close to Washington DC to be a "Real American."

Heck before I bought a condo in MD I lived within walking distance of Russia...

Jennifer said...

I think we need to ask ourselves, who is Sarah Palin, and more than that, what is identity? How do we construct it, and if, as a common tenet of poststructuralism holds, it is unstable and fragmentary, how can we attempt to locate authenticity vis-a-vis her quotes? Furthermore, to what extent do our own inevitably ideologically situated constructions of Palin represent, epistemologically speaking, a valid way of knowing? How can we expect, through hermeneutical investi--

What? You say I'm stalling?

Oh, fine.

I wouldn't put any of these past my individual construction of "Sarah Palin," but, equally, michael5000--or at least my construction of michael5000 (evidently with the assistance of Karmasartre)--would have fun making up Palinesque answers, so there ought to be some No answers in here:

1 Yes
2 Yes
3 Pork rinds? PORK RINDS? I'm going to say no, but on the other hand I think that may just be wishful thinking.
4 Geez. Yes?
5 WTF? Why would she want to sell McCain as an anti-change guy? No (but with substantial uneasiness because it's so asinine that it just might be true).
6 Kinda wishing I watched those interviews with Katie Couric now. Sounds like her, but no.
7 Gawd. Yes?
8 Yes
9 I told that blogger "Yes" she said that on that Bridge to Nowhere.
10 Yes
11 No
12 Yes? I'm really hoping I'm wrong, though.
13 No
14 Yes

d said...

fantastic quiz idea m5k!

1y - oh the specter of putin
2y - everyone else is commie pinkos
3n - but she probably does like pork rinds
5n - said with a fair amount of trepidation as it sounds totally like something that would come out of her mouth
7y - neighboring country. omg.
9y - you betcha

how did she get a minnesotan accent? that's what i always wondered. she's from idaho.

Jenners said...

I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't fabricate any of these quotes but here goes....

1 = DID
2 = DID
3 = DIDN'T
4 = DID
5 = DIDN'T
6 = DID
7 = DIDN'T
8 = DID
9 = DID
10 = DID
11 = DID
12 = DIDN'T
13 = DID
14 = DIDN'T

How long until she gets her own talk show, I wonder?
I saw a blurb that she was considering running for President in the next election. God help us all!!!!

Rex Parker said...

Yes: ALL


Unknown said...

1. yes! i can just see putin's head floating like an atmospheric weather balloon...
2. yes
3. no? she'd never publicly admit a taste for puffed fried pig skin.
4. yes
5. yes
6. yes
7. no?
8. no
9. yes
10. yes
11. yes
12. yes (anyone see the daily show when they interviewed the current wasilla mayor?)
13. yes. she's such a mavericky maverick!
14. please no....

Anonymous said...

I believe in my heart she said really all these things, though some may have gone unchecked by even her tremendous wave of media attention.
1 yes
2 yes
3 no
4 yes
5 no
6 yes
7 no
8 yes
9 yes
10 no
11 yes
12 no
13 yes
14 no
I am so delighted by this great idea and spirit of collaboration, in which Americans like Karmasartre come together and celebrate things like a near miss, and work creatively, although they may not use their real names.

McGuff said...

How 'bout all of 'em? Yep. I'll go all good. And I only read about half.

Anonymous said...

I applaud your flexibility of voice.

1. Did
2. Did
3. Didn't
4. Did
5. Didn't
6. Didn't
7. Did
8. Didn't
9. Did
10. Did
11. Did
12. Did
13. Did
14. Didn't

Oh man. I want a peek at 2012 just t assure myself that her moment of danger is now over. I would believe that she said them all.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I bet she said all these things. She's dumb, but I'd like to grudge F her cause I hate Republicans.

Elizabeth said...

1. Da.
2. Yes, and I say that as a proud fake American.
3. No, she said that about DC, only without the pork rinds.
4. I hope she didn't say that.
5. No, I don't think so.
6. Yep.
7. Oh, yes. She can see Afghanistan from her house, too, you know, also.
8. No.
9. Yes. Ha!
10. No, that would be just too ignorant, wouldn't it?
11. Yes.
12. Yes, amazingly.
13. Yes.
14. No. But she would have been right.

My President is black, you betcha!

Michael5000 said...

The real Palinisms are:

1. "As Putin rears his head..."

2. "....very pro-America areas..."

4. “...more executive experience...”

6. "...never going to be absolute consensus..."

7. "...our neighboring country of Afghanistan."

9. "'Thanks, but no thanks.'"

11. "...our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

12. "...I can do whatever I want..."

It was actually then-Vice President George H.W. Bush who downplayed his Ivy League pedigree to a Southern audience by announcing "For example, I like pork rinds. But that doesn't fit the mold." I concocted the rest of quotation #3.

5, 8, and 14 were all karmasartre channeling the Alaska governor. 10 and 13 were mine. Allegations that we bought tens of thousands of dollars of designer women's clothing to help us "get into the part" while writing this quiz are entirely unfounded. We deny those rumors categorically.

Michael5000 said...

Top honors go, by my less meticulous than usual count, to Cartophiliac and Elizabeth. Whether they followed the recent election to the exclusion of all other things, or whether they have innate gifts of preconcious stylistic analysis, or whether they are lucky, or whether they are just HUGE Sarah Palin fans... is not ours to speculate.

Michael5000 said...

@Karin: Hey, if she's being featured in the L&T, she's still in the limelight!

@fingers: I DID get some ads! I've already made, like, a nickel!

@Cartophiliac: If you are disoriented, I can recommend a FABULOUS blog about maps! It's one of my sponsors!

@Serendipity, who FYI y'all is almost certainly Jennifer under a newly situated construction of self: I'd be most interested in the ideologically situated construction of the pork rinds.

@d: No! Fantastic quiz idea KARMASARTRE!

@Jenners: I think it would be good if she ran for President in the next election. Let's see if the lunatic fringe is as broad as it thinks it is.

@annie: Annie! Good to see ya in Quizland.

@boo: I bask in your applause. As no doubt does karma.

@Dr Ken: Dr. Ken, Dr. Ken.... You're only going to be able to have bitter, spiteful sex with so many prominent conservatives before you start to feel hollow inside.

Thanks for playing, y'all!

Laura said...

1. Is
2. Is
3. Isn't
4. Is
5. Isn't
6. Is
7. Is
8. Isn't
9. Is
10. Is
11. Is
12. Isn't
13. Is
14. Isn't

Cartophiliac said...

"Whether they followed the recent election to the exclusion of all other things, or whether they have innate gifts of preconcious stylistic analysis, or whether they are lucky, or whether they are just HUGE Sarah Palin fans... is not ours to speculate."

It is, in part, that I am beginning to recognize your "lie-writing" style.

DrSchnell said...

Oooh, you're tricksy hiding your quizzes on Tuesdays.

Kritkrat said...

I can't believe I missed out on this one!

And I really can't believe I never heard Bushie talking about his love of pork rinds.

mhwitt said...

I gotta say, I think you and karmasartre have imitated her speaking style in writing very nicely. Everything on this list that she didn't say I could imagine her saying. Hell, I really wish she said number 5! Hilarious!

Elizabeth said...

I'm all about the preconscious innate stylistical something - what was that again?

Dan Nolan said...

I'm always late on these quizzes, but they're fun anyway:

1. did
2. did
3. didn't
4. did
5. didn't
6. did
7. didn't
8. did
9. did
10. did.
11. did.
12. didn't
13. did.
14. did?