Doubtless, dear reader, you are a little out of breath, having rushed straight to the internets upon waking, knowing that today is Tuesday! It's Great Movies day!
Well, you know I hate to disappoint. But, it's summer! Who wants to watch movies in summer!? Hmm. Come to think of it, a lot of people must, what with the whole "Summer Blockbuster" concept. But not me. So during the coming dog days, we'll take a little breather from the Great Movies. I know, I know. But you'll just have to be patient.
Blog as Self-Improvement Platform
Last fall, I announced I was going to be posting about (1) my weight loss program and (2) my attempt to give up delicious, delicious diet cola. You haven't seen anything on either of those topics for a while, though. The first was stymied by... well, like most weight loss programs, it just kind of petered out, and things weren't helped by my inability to remember week to week whether "Wednesday Weigh-In" meant that I was supposed to weigh myself Tuesday and report Wednesday, or weigh myself Wednesday and report Thursday. No, really, I found that really confusing. I'm kind of an idiot.
On the other hand, you don't read about diet cola because there's nothing to say except maybe "Mission Accomplished, Suckas!" I haven't had a sip of the cool, refreshing stuff since December. So, that went well. Of course, there's kind of a coffee problem now, but at least that seems a little more grown-up.
I'll tell you what now.
1) Weight Loss 2.0: I'm going to try again. Starting now, I weigh in on Monday night and report immediately. You will be able to watch my excess weight just melt away. I'm going to be so freaking svelte you'll hardly be able to stand it. By midwinter or so, I'm going to take a special trip out to Colorado, find the extremely fit d (who is, obnoxiously, a decade or so younger than me), and kick his ass! Just to show how incredibly in shape I am! He'll respect that, I think.
OK, I exaggerate. It will probably take until next summer before I really qualify as a living lethal weapon. But the main thing is, I'll be posting my progress so that you, my extremely attractive readers, can say encouraging things like "Still quite a ways to go, Captain Flab!"
2) Tomatoes. I have read that if you eat something 13 times, you will develop a taste for it. This sounds like a promising area for self-improvement! However, I have also read that if you eat something 6 times, you will develop a taste for it. Also, 20 times. Also, 5 and 15 and 12 and 18 times. So, it would appear that no one really knows what the hell they are talking about.
Nevertheless, over the next month I will be, for the third time in my life, attempting to develop a taste for that most noxious of God's fruits, the tomato. That's right: every day, starting tomorrow, for at least four weeks, I shall put a small tomato in my mouth, chew it thoroughly, and swallow it, giving a good faith effort all the while not to pitch my cookies.
Please don't think this is masochism! It's not like I've decided to try to eat brie or caviar or cat poop or anything like that. Tomatoes are known to have real nutritional value! And they are often thrown into an otherwise perfectly appealing sandwich or salad! So it's not like my decision is completely random; there would be real practical benefits to becoming one of the legions of tomato pod people. I'll let you know how it's going. Please wish me luck. I'll need it.