Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Event #8!

Deadline for Event #7: Friday 5/8, 6 pm PDT.
Deadline for Event #8: Thursday 5/7, 6 pm PDT.

It's Event #8, the last of the creative contests!

Fiendish Wit
You have until Thursday, 6 PM PDT, to complete your entry.

Your task in this contest is to render three of the five images below amusing and/or interesting by adding text to them. This text could be of any of the following:
• an explanatory caption, like you would find under a newspaper photograph.
• a dialog caption, as in a classic New Yorker-style cartoon.
• speech or thought balloons to indicate dialog, as in most comic books (or a dialog caption, like you might have seen in very old cartoons).
• labels that turn the image into some kind of allegory, as in a political cartoon.
Mixing and matching is fine; e.g., you could give a newspaper caption to one image, give one speech balloons, and turn the other one into a political cartoon.
If you want to alter the images, that’s fine, but not expected. You can just describe labels, thought balloons, and so on in words, either in the comments or by email to
Judging: Entries will be judged by a panel consisting of michael5000 and a celebrity guest judge who is a person with an excellent sense of humor. Making the judges laugh (or for that matter gasp, cry, despair, flinch, or otherwise react viscerally) will get you a long way. Profundity, innuendo, deft insights, classical and/or literary references, and dazzling wordplay are all good too. No pressure.

Scoring: The texts for each cartoon will be ranked in the usual highly subjective fashion. If anyone has become carried away and submitted for more than three cartoons, only their best three will be retained. For each cartoon, the best answer will receive 10 points, the second best 9 points, the third best 8 points, and so on. Overall score is capped at a maximum of 25 points.

So Here Are the Images
(which, by the way, are courtesy of the great image blog BibliOdyssey. And by "courtesy of," I mean "that's where I found them.)

1. The Fishes

2. Guy With Bottle and Shoe

3. The Fencers

4. In the Skeleton's Study

5. Rural Scene

Deadline: Your captions should be in by 6 p.m. Thursday, May 7. Did I already say that?


The Calico Cat said...

My response (1 of 3) totally permeated my own blog post today...)

Elizabeth said...

1. This was too obviously Excaliburish and I couldn't think of anything original.
2. I immediately thought of saying something like "you see what happens when gay marriage is legal?" but figured that might offend anyone who took me seriously. On the other hand, if you find it amusing, you may include this in my entry roster.

But the official entries are:
3. It's only a flesh wound!
4. Hunter S. Thompson visits Edgar Allen Poe.
5. Beezelbub steals St. Agatha's griffin whistle.

Rebel said...

#4 - Smoking is bad for you.

Rebel said...

#5 "The Original Wingman"
Don't look now but the guy over there is *totally* checking you out.
-OMG! Is he cute?
Oh yeah, he's got the dark smoldering eyes down cold. Total bad boy!

Elaine said...

Hee hee, Rebel, LOVE it!

Unknown said...

1. A Call to Fins
2. Will Impersonate Dead Elvis for Food
3. Gauguin's Absinthe Vision - or The Real Story Behind van Gogh's Ear

Sandy said...

And Now To Local Sports News:

1. Fantasy Fishing League (FFL) players learned this week that lake trout will be fighting back during Sunday's Whitney Point Reservoir Derby.

2. Principal O'Donnell of Horace Mann Middle School celebrates the Junior Wildcats' victory over Thomas Jefferson West.

3. Upstate College's Matt Johnson took an easy victory over local favorite Ben Lange at last week's nude fencing state finals. Touche!

4. Junior Varsity athletes from West Corners High attended a workshop Wednesday on maintaining grades and staying off drugs. Here two of the athletes participate in a role-playing exercise.

5. A local Imp demonstrates the popularity of the new Phallic Banana Lures with area virgins. The season opens Tuesday.

Missy said...

Guy with Bottle and Shoe

It's said that a fine lady's shoe
brings luck as a small champagne flute,
but men of great taste
(and not so straight laced)
know you get much more out of a boot.

The Fencers

Regrettable incidents in the history of nude fencing:
Sir Alexandro Lillo, aged 96, mistakes his partner, Georgio Masserolli, for an old enemy and skewers him in the course of a friendly match. Ironically, the old enemy in question had been killed a year previously in a much-publicized nude curling accident.

In the Skeleton's Study

Even mortality can't slow this intrepid blogger, here seen drafting new posts post-mortem with the aid of a certified brain-massagist (likewise deceased).

Eversaved said...

the suspense is killing me!

Michael5000 said...

@Ms. Saved: The entries have been coalated and distributed to the judges.

gl. said...

this is so weird: i'm positive i posted this last night! in case i am still able to qualify, here are my responses (in lolcat captions: something is better than nothing, right?):
1. in ur river steeling ur swords
2. mai drunk: let me show you it
3. pointy man is pointy
4. dis brain has a flavor
5. oh hai! i bringz back ur flashlight for u!