Thursday, May 7, 2009

Wit: The Winning Entries

The Visual Creativity Entries -- A (Somewhat) Closer Look

A lot of people have -- well, "hassled" is too strong a word.... -- let's say "petitioned" me to get better images of the Visual Creativity winners up for their perusal. So, somewhat better images are now available for your inspection at the brand-new Life & Times of Michael5000 Facebook page. Yes, that's right -- now we are a blog with its own Facebook page. While you're there, don't forget to "become a fan" so I can go all viral and get my 15 minutes of lucrative book deal!

Rapier Wit: The Rough Guide!

My thanks go out tonight to guest jurist MyDogIsChelsea, keeper of the blog of the same name and highly famous award-winning blogger at MyDogIsChelsea, who has been known to answer to "Laura," has been for almost two years the official Spiritual Blogmother of the Life & Times, being as how she was the person who explained to me how this whole blogging enterprise operates.

As with the previous jurists, MyDog & I didn't always line up in our opinions. That's good! That's the point of having more than one judge! So, the following represent a more or less consensus ranking of entries. Remember, if your entries don't show up on some or all of the images, that doesn't mean you aren't scoring points. We're only showing the top few captions here.


Fourth Place: "Dude, can you believe they thought that Ophelia chick committed suicide?" (Eversaved)

Third Place: A Call to Fins (Annie)

Second Place: Fantasy Fishing League (FFL) players learned this week that lake trout will be fighting back during Sunday's Whitney Point Reservoir Derby. (Sandy)

First Place: "Geezuz Bob, we've gone over this already. You don't want sashimi. Trust me." (Kadonkadonk)


Fifth Place: Principal O'Donnell of Horace Mann Middle School celebrates the Junior Wildcats' victory over Thomas Jefferson West. (Sandy)

Fourth Place: Well, the good news is that there is nothing like an economic crisis to put a person's real needs in perspective. (Eversaved)

Third Place: "And God said, 'Let there be booze and Converse.' And the people celebrated." (Kadonkadonk)

Second Place:

It's said that a fine lady's shoe
brings luck as a small champagne flute,
but men of great taste
(and not so straight laced)
know you get much more out of a boot.


First Place: Meet Two-Buck Charles, hardhitting editor-in-chief of The New Economic Times. (Mrs.5000)


Fourth Place: Extreme Body Piercing (Kadonkadonk)

Third Place: Regrettable incidents in the history of nude fencing: Sir Alexandro Lillo, aged 96, mistakes his partner, Georgio Masserolli, for an old enemy and skewers him in the course of a friendly match. Ironically, the old enemy in question had been killed a year previously in a much-publicized nude curling accident. (Missy)

Second Place: "See? I told you to keep your eyes off the balls." (Elaine)

...and that's where Serendipity started to go a little nuts. Here's her official first place entry, along with some others of the set of riffs she sent in on this image:

...and even:

Fourth Place: Hunter S. Thompson visits Edgar Allen Poe. (Elizabeth)

Third Place: Smoking is bad for you. (Rebel)

Second Place: “I just know I put those car keys around here somewhere!” (Serendipity)

First Place: “Detective Calaca looked up from his case files with a sharp, familiar ache -- his acute sixth sense warning him that somewhere, not far away, skullduggery was afoot." (Mrs.5000)


Sixth Place: Beezelbub steals St. Agatha's griffin whistle. (Elizabeth)

Fifth Place: The Original Wingman
"Don't look now but the guy over there is *totally* checking you out."
"-OMG! Is he cute?"
"Oh yeah, he's got the dark smoldering eyes down cold. Total bad boy!"

Fourth Place: "Wait, you don't think it's racist to have a menacing black dude with horns and a huge phallus lurking and stalking a virginal white chick, do you?"

"Of course not, the New Yorker loves that shit." (Eversaved)

Third Place: A local Imp demonstrates the popularity of the new Phallic Banana Lures with area virgins. The season opens Tuesday. (Sandy)

Second Place: “Don’t look, but that horny guy’s setting the sausage trap for you again.” (Mrs.5000)

And, once again in first place, we once again have Serendipity going over the top. I cropped just her caption out, in hopes that it will display readably....

The Leaderboard: Final Update!

After eight events, annie and d have dropped back a few points, leaving Missy in the lead ahead of Eversaved and Mrs.5000, who has charged alarmingly up from her halftime ninth place.

173.5 Missy
170.5 Eversaved
169.5 Mrs.5000
167.5 annie
166.5 d
162.5 Kadonkadonk
148 Elizabeth
147.5 The Calico Cat
143.5 Rebel
143 gl.
135 la gringissima
132 Elaine


Rebel said...

And Rebel slips ever farther down the leaderboard =(

Eversaved said...

I did, too! It might not help me that much, but I did complete the Thursday quiz!

Epistemz Dialektix said...

Not convinced that the facebook display actually allows us to read the maps.

Michael5000 said...

@Saved: Quite right, quite right, I have found your entry and you're in good shape.

@The Adviser: Not "convinced"? It would be a hard thing to talk you into. On my screen, Mrs.5000's shows up pretty well, Ms.Saved's shows up so-so, and Missy's is still a problem because of the small print. I DO WHAT I CAN, ADVISER!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT, BLOOD?

Michael5000 said...

@Rebel: It pains me to say it, but I wonder if you had yet another Thaichnical issue with Event #5. I only got two captions, not three, and naturally that put a bit of a drag on your score....

Jenners said...

These were awesome!

And I'm in awe of what you are doing here with all this ... did everyone take a week off from work to do this????

Elaine said...

Why am I even on this "leaderboard?" Unless you just like having the contrast of the 41.5 points.
I'm with Jenners-- how are people making the time for these fab entries?
Maybe if I hurry I can get something done on #7. I have a fun idea but no free time to execute more than the text... eh, luckily it won't raise my insurance rates or mortgage interest %.

Michael5000 said...

@Jenners: the successful decathlete must bring to the event not just stamina -- but speed!

Also: takes one to know one, Ms. Blogsalot.

fingerstothebone said...

I can't believe I missed this event! Blame it on those 10 hour days. Not that I had anything witty to say, but it's a heck of a good excuse.

Michael5000 said...

I blame it on the 10 hour days. It wouldn't be like you to show up without some wit.